As They Lay Dying - Part Two

    Delving into the past and present, the inner and the outer. Letting William Faulkner try to enlighten me, based on reading a book that was hard to enjoy way back in 1989. I understood it, I think and recall, for my 18-year-old brain, my senior year in public school; I could understand some pretty deep concepts for my age. As much as I can now, whatever that means. I was reading some good literature since I was 8, 9, 10 years-old. I had read a good share of science fiction, fantasy, but quite a bit of non-fiction and some classic literature, too. Always expounding on holy scriptures. That may help. I felt like I could understand, or at least tried to comprehend "big-people things" from a young age.

    Why do we read what we read? Why do we write what we write? Think what we think? And how do we explore things and thoughts? Or not? I cannot tell you all the reasons. We are trying to figure some things out. Analyze this, as the movie says.

    I am not trying to dig up new wounds about my family and me, but maybe I am trying to discover and reason out some things that have happened, that have transpired. Things that might be explained, stuff that might be solved, resolved, or at least we can potentially make some sense of it, resolution or not.

    Doris' Closer Family

    I gave some background about some of the people of the one who has passed in Part One. Perhaps I write this more dispassionately because of my place in the family. I cannot tell for sure. Forgive me all if this is not appropriate. But putting some "pen to paper", ink to see, share, develop, analyze, scrutinize, may help me or others.

    I hope so.

    Did Faulkner help anyone? I would think so. Did he help me in 1989? Does he help me now?

    We shall see. Or we might...

Doris' First Husband - I do not know much about him, I never met him. From all accounts that I know, he was a decent guy who had his two children with Doris, they divorced, and he worked and retired out of state, to the south. Not Mississippi. (It is not that connected to the novel or novelist, I do not think.) 

    Also, a former husband may not play into the picture that much; I am guessing not. He passed away maybe around 2010. Again, not really my family, nor too much of my concern, but obviously integral to Doris' children and grandchildren. And therefore, even passed on, the first husband may sort of play into the psychology or sociology of the affair. By affair, I mean the transpiring of the life and death of Doris, and the subsequent divorce between he and them.

    I hope that she, my step-mother, would mean me no ill will, nor feel hurt by me writing this quasi-analysis now. She of all people enjoyed and cherished certain books and literature. I am trying to approach these issues in an artistic and creative way. I read a few of those books by some great writers thanks to her, a retired librarian. Would Faulkner himself think my own conjecture in print as foolhardy or naive, or some kind of maniacal mind wandering across depths or tides that need not any tracking? Am I purely rehashing dead or non-sensical ideas? 

    What would William Faulkner think? Does his spirit and art and ideas linger into the known universe? Apparently.

    Welcome back, sir William. We have kept the thoughts, themes, and stories alive somehow.

    To you. And us.

    Doris' Second Husband, my father - This is probably where it all emanates; me, her, them, all of us. My dad is pretty complicated in many ways, to interpret it one way. Then again, others would testify or opine that he is unstable or now at an advanced age and is not competent. Of course, he believes otherwise, and he will tell you why. Sound mind? Has Donald Trump ever been of sound mind? Has Joe Biden? All politics aside (which is impossible for some people), one man's genius reformer or dynamic maverick is another person's psychotic narcissist or out-of-control fool. Take your pick.

    So, things went sour, bitter; life went weird, sideways, mean-spirited, afoul. Many of us questioned: were all these feelings present all along, and simply hidden, uncovered, and unexpressed? Sublimated? Freud, Jung, and a thousand psychologists may have the explanation for such phenomena, but I think I conveyed the message of what happened. Things broke down between the closest parties of Doris.

    I have known my dad for over fifty years. There are many things about him that one can take negatively, but he also has many positive points. Things went into a perpetual or escalatory set of negatives between my father and Doris' children, children-in-law, and some of the grandchildren. Heightened or brought to a peak at the beginning of her health crisis and eventual passing, all in 2021.

    Doris' Son - A good person by almost all standards. I have liked him always; I have never had anything negative with him or his family. His children, my step-nieces and nephew, have been family to me since I was a teenager. We have spent many dinners, parties, and even some choice vacations together. But as Chinua Achebe entitled his classic novel, Things Fall Apart". Things ran amiss between him and his family and my dad. Not between him and I, but he and my dad. Which is connected to...

    Doris' Daughter-in-Law - I think it is safe to say things got very acrimonious between this person and my dad. As Doris' terminal illness was discovered in spring of 2021, it appears that things got bitter right away, which also involved Doris' daughter, to be described hereafter. Now, I am not doing a Faulkner here, I am not in the heads of these characters, these family parts, now at the passing of the main subject in question. I am guessing or making speculation as to how or what these people think, because I am admittedly biased and there are parts to the other peoples' thinking that I do not know.

    Safe to say that much of the blow-up or acrimony was surprising to a few of us. Let's see if any of this makes more sense...

Doris's Daughter - Like the daughter-in-law, who has been around when Doris and my dad were married my junior year in high school, Doris' daughter has always been there since she came into our family's life, she married to Doris' son-in-law, a person that I have always gotten along with. Both of them. Same story. Doris' daughter felt hurt back when her mother was hospitalized with the original diagnosis in April, or May. Things were confusing and have been mixed up in my head, as I was moving from one place to another with the military.

    The Initial Rupture of Anger and Frustration - Maybe

    

    So here is a story that needs investigating, because the details have been shared on at least two sides: 

    Doris went to the hospital or doctor's office for an appendectomy, in Indianapolis, an hour away from home, and then things got ugly. They discovered that she had advanced cancer, and the prognosis was not good. The doctors gave her 6-12 months to live. This hit her and my dad pretty hard. And everyone else.

    So, my dad and Doris get the news, they hold Doris in the hospital, and apparently, she was feeling really bad. Things got tenuous, as in they needed to keep her their overnight, or for multiple nights, and she was feeling really awful even to the point of death, then. I get some conflicting reports of how bad she was then. To make matters worse and with residual hard feelings, the daughter and the daughter-in-law wanted to visit Doris in the hospital at that time, but my dad told them no. I heard on my side from him that Doris herself asked not to be seen by them or anyone. So, he respected her wishes. On the other side I am told that my dad was the one who prevented Doris' own daughter from seeing her mom at such a dire time, and this was terrible. 

    If my dad made that decision on his own, with no input from Doris, that is pretty awful on his part.

    There's the rub. Who is telling the truth?

    

    It gets weirder, or whackier, or uglier after this. 

    I need to do this in a part three. Thanks, William Faulkner. I blame you.