As They Lay Dying - Part Four

    There are three of us step-children to Doris that are part of the story. I am one of them. I cannot get into the heads of the people, (except for myself), but some brief summaries, maybe.

Step-child # 1 - My oldest sister was 21 when Doris and my father were married, attending college locally in Indiana. From what I knew, she got along well with Doris and her family nearby. She moved on to live on the East Coast, in four different locations. This distance was probably a good thing when reviewing the situation now. Moving closer to home this past summer, things have become more complicated with some relations, and there is the husband, the step-son-in-law involved too. 

Step-child # 2 - My other older sister, who was 18 close to 19 and beginning college when Doris and our dad met and got married. She actually spotted Doris on campus to begin the connection. Add 34 years, the relationship ended in sickness and in a less than amicable fashion with her living half the country away. This daughter moved away within a year of their betrothal, moving across the country to five different states, ending up 1600 miles away for the last part, almost twenty years.  I think that she always got along with Doris and the extended blended family, even though she was pretty far away. The local children of Doris got to know the ex-brother-in-law of step-child #2, who was mostly out of the picture after 19 years of marriage in 2010, more than a decade prior to now. This person, my closer sister, has likely been the least involved in any of the drama and acrimony of the last two years.

    Step-child # 3. Me. I tried my best to be a good son and step-son. I have my foibles and limitations, but overall I think that I and then later my wife and children were able to contribute to the joy or contentedness of Doris and my dad. I lived with Doris and my father the two years prior to my mission, the year after my mission (age 21), and then for two more years between living in Utah and California. I owe a lot to both of them and they have been super good to me as parents, friends, and supporters. I have never not got along with the local Doris family, the sons and daughters, biological and married into the family.

    Step-grandchildren of Doris # 1-12. All of them lived pretty far from Doris, but I know that mine would spend quality time with Doris and my dad, including attending Doris' church at Christmas service, multiple times. I am not sure if anyone else in Doris' family would ever attend Doris' church with her. Mine did, and I thought that that made her happy. I know my children experienced good times with her and my dad, especially after the death of their biological grandmother, my mom, back in 2014.

As They Lay Dying - Part Four

    She is gone over a year now, but there are people that have been linked through her, in her wake, who are now divorced from each other and still grieving her loss. The Faulkner classic did not involve step relationships through re-marriage. The characters of that story and family were all closer together, socially and geographically, a time long before ours. Maybe 3-4 generations ago. All of us white Americans. There were no emails and social media to communicate in those days. Faulkner tried to understand the survivors of the pivotal mother from all their points of view.

     What would our thoughts be if represented through words and placed in book? The main characters would be my father and his step-children, and a spouse, maybe one or two step-grandchildren. 

    The cleavages were real, the pains were felt and lived, and now remembered. It was an unfortunate breakdown of how things developed.

    I am more compelled than ever to read Faulkner's best works. I will read or re-read them with a more critical eye, a more aware heart or emotion and understanding that family ties and death are not an easy process, and we have many parts to us that cannot be easily contained or described.