The Final Four 2014: Reflections and Analysis

So, as of last night (Sunday), the NCAA college basketball for the men's side is complete.

Connecticut upset favored Michigan St., and Kentucky is gelling with all their freshmen wunderkind and upset Michigan. Two Big-10 powers eliminated in a few hours. Had that not happened, the Big-10 would have had 3 out of the final four, thanks to Wisconsin over Arizona the day before.

I had hopes that the Big 10 (which is about to expand to 14 teams this year, from 12) would be so strongly represented, because I am a fan of the Big Ten. (I call it the Big Ten Plus, or Big 10+, because of the additional teams added in the last decades like Penn St. and Nebraska, and soon Maryland and Rutgers.)

Being from Indiana, I like to see the Hoosier's closest rivals do well, thus reflecting better on my team and area. The University of Michigan Wolverines had three native Indiana guys as integral parts of their team, Robinson III, Albrect, and Irvin; the fourth was riding the bench from a back injury. That player, Mitch McGary, helped the Wolverines get to the final game last year. Irvin is a former Mr. Indiana basketball, which hurts to lose from IU/Purdue/Notre Dame, or even Butler, but I still like to see some of our guys do well away from the state.

Likewise, Michigan State had two key players from Indiana; one did well (Harris), while the other under-performed (Dawson). Harris, as a sophomore, is also a former Mr. Indiana. His second place competitor, Kevin "Yogi" Ferrell, finished disappointingly with the Hoosiers a few weeks ago. They did not even qualify for the second tier NIT. So they spurned the third tier tourneys, CBI and CIT.

I have already lamented this fact.

But about the winners, of whom Indiana has played a role in the past:

The UK Wildcats won it two years ago. Many fab freshmen that mostly crushed their opponents. They outdid the Fab Five of Michigan a generation ago. It could happen again now, under the same coach, Calipari.

UConn won it all as a dark horse as recently as 2011. They went on one of the most impressive runs in college basketball history, starting in the dregs of the Big East tournament (being a non-favored low seed that had to play many days in a row just to advance and be considered a tourney invitee) and simply never losing after that. They had a couple impressive would-be pros, particularly Kemba Walker, but do not forget about the Lamb dude, or the whole team's unification and achievement, including a couple of big rebounders. It seems the Huskies are in that mode again, three years later with their then freshman, Shabazz Napier, now the big-time big shot. He simply has been edging them on to victory, much as he did against my underachieving Hoosiers in December. Close game, typical result: IU loses. UConn triumphant.

The Florida Gators won it back-to-back as recently as 2007 and 2008, a feet that is no small accomplishment, only being accomplished by two legends of coaching in my lifetime since 1970: Duke under Krzyzewski in 1991-1992 and John Wooden multiple times in the 1960s and 1970s at UCLA.

Wisconsin? Not since the NCAA tournament's third year in existence, when the NCAA tourney was then second tier to the NIT (National Invitational Tournament), which would not change in overall status until the Wizard of Westwood and his remarkable teams, the dominant teams of Cal-Los Angeles Bruins, which should never happen again.

Of course, not many people thought John Calipari could accomplish what he is doing in Lexington, with this many one-and-dones coming and going to the professional ranks as they have done in record number. One year NCAA champ, the next year NIT bust.

And now they have come into the Final Four again.

Who do I prefer to win?

Not Kentucky. They have 8 overall under 4 coaches. They are second to UCLA with 11, under two coaches, the last championship tacked on twenty years after Wooden's retirement.

Not Florida. Donovan is a great guy but I don't want him tied in rings with Coach Bob Knight and now former UConn's Jim Calhoun, with three each.

Not UConn. I respect Coach Kevin Ollie, and enjoyed him as a pro, but no...

I have rooted for IU to beat Coach Bo Ryan at Wisconsin for a generation (almost), or at least my oldest child's entire life. Indiana has such a hard time beating the Badgers in basketball, not to mention football...

And the Badgers only have one title, which most people living have no recollection of in 1941. How many living people remember Pearl Harbor?

So, for the allegiance of the Big Ten Plus and for other historical reasons, I hope that the Badgers do it.

IU celebrated greatly in the Big 10 season when upsetting the then undefeated (17-0) Wisconsin team in Bloomington. Back when it seemed IU could still put together a decent season.

So yeah, go Badgers.

And who did I pick for my one online bracket before the madness all got going a couple of weeks ago?

Arizona over Florida, getting past Michigan and Michigan State in the Final Four.

One out of four isn't too bad, is it?

On Wisconsin. Let Bo Ryan become the newest bully of the Big Ten for us Hoosiers to really sink our teeth into...Next year.

And maybe Tom Crean can... Win something other than the Big Ten regular season banner.

Still hurting from last year's under achievement.

IU sits on its 5 banners....1987 was a while ago. Getting farther every year.

Enjoy the tournament.

Blog it, EMC.

Fast and Testimony...from my Perspective

      I grew up in a faith tradition where once per month the membership has a designated weekend when we undertake a fast, which is done individually and thus collectively. At the church meeting of that weekend, we get together and share testimonies of what we believe. We also are supposed to make a tithe donation of money for what we went without eating, normally two meals without food or drink.

Today is the culmination of that effort for myself, my wife, and my group. It is being done before the first Sabbath of April because we will have a larger General Conference as a church next weekend, which is attended or observed by the whole worldwide faith of those that participate.

Today we decided to fast with a prayer dedicated to the families bereaved related to the missing victims of the Malaysian air flight from over two weeks ago, the more recent victims of the mudslide of the Oso, Washington, town, and for our Grandpa Terry, survivor of the recent loss of his wife and my mother.

I am not sure at what age I began fasting. Prayer should always come with it, and I know there were times that I went without food and paid the tithing associated with it, but I may not have had a specific prayer attached to it.

That is something to focus on and practice better.

But now that I have been dealing with, practicing, trying to implement and conduct this practice for about three decades, I wanted to share a few points on how it works with me.

On days (Sundays) that I work, usually once per month, I do not fast. That is too hard. I try to make up for it the following Sunday, but I do not always get to do so.

I generally try not to drink water, but occasionally I feel my body needs that water.

I try to begin the fast the Saturday night before, with a prayer, with my family if possible.

Because I had my gall bladder removed in 2002, the last 12 years fasting has been a little more complicated than before. For this reason,  I have to be prepared a little bit. Since the removal, if I go one or two meals without eating, I usually have a purging of my bowels, (pardon the wording), and therefore have to make it to a stool sometimes quickly after breaking the fast. There have been days when I worked later on the Sabbath, and that provides its own complications.

But things have gone all right, overall.

I believe that fasting in my life has helped me in many ways. But perhaps more importantly, I believe these actions have benefited others as well. The church has a system to physically help those with issues of no food or distress. And also spiritually, this collective action helps us come together and unite in better causes and efforts.

I wish more of the world could do things like this. I think it would benefit us all, both individually and on the aggregate.

But if you cannot do it physically for health or other reasons, you can still achieve solidarity with the intent. And donate your money to good causes to alleviate hunger or need.

Blog on.

EMC

Sooner or Later...Finally part of a Basketball Championship!

I am 43; I finally got to be part of a team that won it all this week! In basketball, a sport I have played competitively for many years now. But I had never won it all.

Thursday night was history for me. It was a bit of relief. I waited to tell my wife, teammates and others until it was over, that this was my first time coming out victorious. Most of my teammates are younger than me, and have won championships before. (Like my same congregation team did last year, when I could not play.) And some of the guys I had played with in those previous losing years, so I really wanted this monkey off my back.

For a few years (or decades) I thought I was part of the losing equation. This was a bit frustrating, because despite my limitations and faults in the sport, I thought I added some positives to good or decent teams, as a contributor on the plus side.

This season, like 2010, 2011, and 2012 ( I missed last year 2013 because of work), my ward (the LDS word for congregation, or parrish), I played again with the guys. Those first three years we came up short; last year they won it without me. So a part of me was thinking: Was it me? Was I part of the losing formula?

Now that I am well into my forties, I realize that my body and (even my mind, unfortunately) are not going to react in explosiveness or stamina like in the past. I am past my physical prime. I was hoping that my mental game could still progress.

That remains to be seen.

But at least, in a small way comparable to Steve Young finally winning a Super Bowl (in 1995), I can now know that I did not detract in the ultimate results of getting the prize. Of course, Steve Young, fellow BYU alum, was much more instrumental in his championship.

And no, I was not the biggest scorer or dribbler on the team, and I did not score very significantly in the final game, but I did contribute. I pulled down some rebounds, I made a few good passes, I committed a good foul (as called by a long time associate Don Hiatt), and I was part of an 8 man rotation that got the job done. Thursday night.

Tuesday night might have have been the bigger deal: we played Tall Cedars, which was undefeated until then, and we were able to upset them. I scored a bucket in the first half that helped keep up the winning distance till the end.

Which set up the championship game that was played two nights later, against a Goose Creek squad that had beaten us twice in the regular season.

Ah.

It feels good to have that taken care of.

Blog on.

EMC

I Do Have Some Nice Step Brothers (and Sister)

Last post I talked about the coming and going of brothers in my earlier years,  and even into adulthood, but I forgot to mention that I have some step-siblings, including step-brothers. I didn't grow up with them. My step-father's son, who was 18 when my step-dad married my mom was 18 and moving out of the country for the next few years. I met him for the first time before my mom's wedding in 1986. I was 16 and a sophomore in high school. I next met him again maybe three years later, or possibly 5, after my foreign mission.

When I was a junior in high school my dad re-married and acquired another step-brother and step sister, plus their spouses, and their children as step-nieces and nephews. So since 1988 I have had step-brother relationships which are nice, but when we get together we sometimes feel more like cousins that siblings. But I have had a good time hanging out with them over the years, particularly at holidays and special birthdays.

So, my last post "Growing Up Without a Brother" was not slight on them. They have been nice bonus family for me.

It was more the "going south" of the last relationship to that closer brother-in-la from my youth, which is "south" now but not ended. Just strained because of divorce. And distance. And time.

But I think we still think of each other as brothers in a few ways.

Maybe more about Arnold later.

Blog on. EMC

Growing Up Without a Brother

I can't complain that I didn't have things as a child; I did.

I always had my sisters; they were good to have. No complaints. And, of course: parents! I had two (and later four), so I was definitely blessed with them. Adults are cool. And they stayed my parents and sisters for a life time.

Me being a boy, however, over the course of my life, I thought it would be nice to have a brother. I saw quite a few families with a good number of brothers: the Aults, the Johnsons, the Samulesons, the Neals, the Matthews, the Smiths, the Murrays, and on and on...

There was even the King family who had nine kids. I couldn't count how many brothers they had; I remember one in the middle, a little older than me, doing the brotherly thing at the pool, convincing me to jump off the high dive. He was used to being a brother: Risk and peer pressure are par for the course in brotherhood. 

Lots of brothers. More risks. More pressures. Maybe I was lucky?

Growing up on Manor Road, I mostly slept in a room by myself, which a lot of people do...I call it what it was: normality. But there were a few times when I had some surrogate brothers for significant periods. They would come and go, and I suppose I got used to that.

But even my new friend in fourth grade, Pete Hoff, had a little brother named Tom. (They may have shared a room until a house addition.) We so enjoyed teasing and making fun of little Tom. Like my lessons in friendship with other little buddies, Ian Noyes down the street, Jonny Hoole across the street, or Jonathan Murray's little brother Christopher. For a few years, I think Ian, who lived with his sister and mom only, was like a brother to me. But he left by the time I was in third grade. We visited across town a couple more years, but like all fraternal fellows, it was time to move on.

Brothers come and go. In my experience.

My family tried a few times, like looking into adoption for a couple little guys, but that didn't work.

As I mentioned, I grew close to some young boys in an almost brotherly way. From second grade to fifth grade I had some foster brothers, both in the form of toddlers and some older ones I could play with. And as foster brothers go, they went. It was fun, but they were no longer my brothers.

I had church and school and neighborhood and Scouting brothers. We would end up doing sleepovers or camping trips, and perhaps some of them felt like brothers; some of them I felt close to when they they stayed at my house, or me at their homes, almost a closeness that I felt with the foster brothers that I would share a room with.

Middle school saw some new friends, and old friends, and by high school, many old friends and I were going separate ways. Some moved, which changed previous relationships, affecting me. Like Arnold (I changed his real name)who moved with his family, and his best soul-mate buddy, who was left behind in Bloomington, ended up being my best friend for the next year. And then that changed.

Brothers and buddies were coming and going. That did not change.

Going on a two year mission was an amazing exercise in brotherhood, for sure. Some of my missionary companions seemed like brothers for years. It helped that I was able to return a few years later and see and speak to some of them. But Chile is a place far away and ultimately those brotherhood feelings grow more distant and become strained and constrained and practically forgotten. And the American companions were all right, but by and large not the same in fraternal closeness to me as the Chileans were, by and large.

But funny thing, life; when you thought  your old friend Arnold (again, borrowed name, from a brother on a popular 70s sitcom) had moved away, with his three brothers, who also seemed brotherly to me, especially the second youngest one who was my age., The second oldest was naturally the one to hang out with in the past and even into the adult years, because we were young Scouting buddies and cohorts, and later after our missions in college. Suffice it say, Arnold, the older brother of the former, married my sister. Here was real kind of brother!

A new brother-in-law while I was 20, but a former friend to boot. And he married the sister I was closer to, and they proceeded to have children, my first nieces. So, we would hang out in my hometown, with me or with my parents, or both. And then, I would visit my sister and him and their children in distant places like New York, New Jersey, Boston and California, where I had moved, too. And then I got married, while we would still spend time with my sister and Arnold (brother-in-law), hoping our kids, as cousins, would enjoy themselves as family. And that was the closest relationship to having a brother that I think I ever had.

And then time passed, and things went south.

An abrupt end, in a way.

But still not final. (More later...)

Blog it, EMC.

Family Trips to See the Past (1st Iteration)

I thought this was erased but maybe the draft was automatically saved. ---Yes!

TEST. Updated Saturday, 22 March '14.


A week or so ago I wrote down some potential titles as blog posts to write about. I read them out loud tonight and my daughter Madhya picked the one that I will write about (see above). I have been in a more nostalgic or memory-searching mode the last few weeks with the rather quick passing of my mother. She had been sick, but things went rapidly in late February.

I have not experienced death so close to me before, and for some obvious reasons it is good to record personal and family history, which I have done through this blog, writing the eulogy for her services, and talking with friends and loved ones.

Today at my work I mentioned her a couple of times, but not that she had recently passed. Only a few things about her, that pertained to me. I shared a joke about a bull fight restaurant and her name, both related to Spanish, which I was teaching.

Growing up as I did, my family did vacations and travels that could be broken into four categories:

1. Visiting living family.
2. Visiting faith related places, like church or historical sites, including dead family places at cemeteries or libraries.
3. Visiting national landmarks and regional/national tourist sites.
4. Visiting friends.

Because my parents are both from the Boston area, until I was a teenager we did a fair share of visiting in and around Boston, Massachusetts, including frequent trips to Cape Cod and the return visits through Kingston, Ontario, Canada, and Niagara Falls. That part of the northeast has captured many of my childhood memories. Some specific towns and cities include Netwon, Wellesley, Hanover, Hyannis, West Dennis and Orleans, among others.

The last time I visited New England in the 1980s, the summer before my two year mission in South America, I recall visiting some more nationally historic places like the Boston Harbor, Concord and Lexington, and Breed's Hill (which is the real place Bunker Hill purports to be.)

I made it up there in 1995 and 1997...more later...

Family Trips to See the Past

(Second iteration. First was erased for technical difficulty yesterday evening; only 5-7 lines).

Last night I read off a list of blog title posts that I had written a week or so ago to compose. The one that my daughter Madhya chose for me tho write is this (see above). I cannot remember specifically what I was going to write about, but like a lot of blogs I start writing and see how it goes. And occasionally update or adapt.

It was something like...

I have been in a nostalgic thinking or memory-scan mode lately due to the death of my mother. It makes you think back on the past, and I have done so through this blog, writing the eulogy for her services, talking and reminiscing with friends and loved ones, or simply mentioning a few things about my mom, like yesterday at work. But I did not happen to mention her passing.

This is the closest person ever to die to me; it is a new experience. As I have said before, I am grateful to be this age (at least) when this happened. We hoped for longer, but death is part of our life and we cannot do all the choosing about when it happens.

I will post now and write more about trips later. Family trips.

....to be continued...

Some major trips that we took, were camping ones...

More later (24 March '14). 

Fred Glass, Tom Crean, Kelvin Sampson, Mike Davis, Myles Brand...Robert Montgomery Knight

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

That is me sighing. And continuing to breathe. Slowly.

Some month. For me. I guess for a lot of us. But this blog is primarily about me.

Some of my interests, like sports.

Funny how sports work: they can be a distraction from the real realities of life, like...

Dating, working, striving, sweating, thinking, pounding, graduating, traveling, dying, fighting, running, bleeding, sitting, sleeping, and a bunch of other things that might be hard. Or mundane. Or tedious. Or too hard to dwell on all the time. Like death. And taxes. And love. And faith.

But watching sports can be elating, and distracting, and fun. Different than a lot of real life.

Or not.

Enter Indiana basketball, 2014.

And I have said this before, related to the team: Ugh.
But now it is in a special section of Ugh-liness.

We didn't make the NIT!

I was shocked. And then Fred Glass, current well paid Athletic Director for Indiana University, announces we will not go to the CBI ( and that rules out the CIT as well).

For those that didn't know, these are lesser tournaments than the NCAA (Big Dance) and NIT (Little Dance). Maybe the CBI and CIT are not even dances, in his opinion, just light jogs.

Whatever the case, IU should be playing against someone this week.

But no.

Ugh. In my mind, that makes us big losers. Yep. Big losers.

And it makes me, and a lot of IU fans, how good a coach Tom Crean is. He and his teams have choked a lot. With less talent, and with more talent.

Too much choking away games IU should win. There have been a few good ones. But...

Sampson choked before him, breaking now obsolete calling and texting rules that he was censured for at Oklahoma and fired at IU for.

Meanwhile, Mike Davis has his current team in the Big Dance. And former IU player Maurice Creek is there with George Washington U., too.

It was Myles Brand who fired Knight (Coach Knight, to you, son!), and then later led the NCAA that sanctioned Sampson, briefly relieved at the end of 2008 by Dan Dakich, who is a prattling talking head on ESPN, which I like when IU wins.

The Boston Red Sox were cursed for decades after letting Babe Ruth go about 100 years ago.

Maybe IU basketball is currently suffering such a curse.

We need to reverse it.

Reverse the curse.

And if you are a Cubs and IU fan, as a few million inevitably are, I just think that winning may not be the only thing that gets you excited.

Or for that matter, competitive spectator sports.

Blog on. EMC

High School Classes

(re-edited 30 March 2014).

I have sometimes thought about my high school class of 1989; how I grew apart from them and over the years (almost 25 now) I have occasional knowledge or connections to some of them. But very few times and circumstances do I hear or see of them in this time of Facebook linking, which have occurred few and farther between.

Even when I lived in Bloomington in 1992,  parts of 1997, '98 and '99, there was minimal contact.

1992: I had an IU English class with a guy in my high school class. I cannot remember his name. He seemed like a nice fellow; he was a biking enthusiast. I also attended a wedding with one of the twins of my class. We hung out a little but that was brief. I ran into Pete Hoff near the Indiana School of Education... Nothing more than that. I saw Andy Hamilton working at the TIS, the college book store.

1997: I took a Kaplan class downtown and I became a MCCSC Substitute teacher. Did I run into any of my fellow classmates? Maybe Paul Fratiani who was investigating my faith.

1998: Going to IU and teaching and having a couple of other jobs, I saw Brian Underwood. Good guy. Good to catch up a little with him.

1999: Finishing up my teaching degree at IU, student teaching in Brown County. Not a lot of contact with all those folks.

Three plus years and little more than 3 old contacts. I spoke to good old friend Jake Smith because of a class about small groups.

I can and have accessed some good information about them through a good website that has some good features for us to use. Here it is:
http://www.bhss1989.com/

I became more active with it while overseas; perhaps having extra time during those weeks and months, in 2012 and 2013. I still find it interesting and it compels me to write on it. I think I have contributed more to the overall site (by my words) than anyone else.

Maybe because I am the wanna-be chaplain, I cannot help, or at least feel compelled to write about those of my 400+ graduating class that have passed on. There is a growing handful, as death is a part of life.

I have not made it to the high school reunions; usually I would like to attend but I have work taking me elsewhere.

How many show up? What would we talk about?

Are most of us really strangers now? (2014).

Stranger every year?

Maybe. Just quirks of geography and happenstance, in so many ways.

But many of us may still be connected in ways that someday will be significant. Undoubtedly, many are likely still in contact with each other. Whatever the case, the people that I spent so many years of my last days of public education with are spread across the globe; we are still connected through our common past.

And what significance does that have? More or less, depending on our stations in life.

For me, as a person who likes to remember the past and analyze things yesterday, today and into the future, I think my class of '89 may still play a part of my life.

We shall see.

Blog. On. EMC.

Different Operating Systems Create Family Rifts

Does that make sense? I guess it goes along with phone plans and nationalities. And other institutions of man, many of whom are competitive and require money.

So, if someone has the operational system Mozilla-Firefox or Explorer, then they cannot log out of, say, a gmail account which is Google based, because they do not have the right operational system? Is this just a small technical problem that can be skipped over?

Like calling a Verizon phone with a Sprint or AT & T phone won't work, because they do not "recognize" each other?

Are things that messed up? Meanwhile, family members are sick and tired of the confusion and extra work due to this apparent imcompatibility of plans or systems.

There are things about the 21st century that are not so cool.

Who do we blame? Capitalism?

I wish I knew the quicker answer...

If you know how to switch gmail accounts for email through Yahoo, or Mozilla or Explorer, please share...

EMC

My Mom has Become Part of History

I have always really enjoyed human history, and even a bit of cosmological and scientific earth history. It all helps figuring out who and where we are.

I would say my curiosities are insatiable, I will always want to know more.

I saw an interesting quote by (who else?) Winston Churchill: "The farther you know of the past the farther you will see in the future."

My mother (1940-2014) did not play a big part of known human history, but she did some significant and meaningful things. She vaccinated many children in West Africa that are either alive today, or their offspring are surviving, because of her efforts. She worked as an LDS service missionary with my step-dad in Cambodia and Indonesia.

But her biggest impact may be here in the United States...

Her living offspring here.

Having faith in the hereafter, perhaps her greatest impact will be beyond the veil, as we call it.

But yes, she did things as a nurse that will be counted for many years, but unknown service will be that hallmark. Maybe my nephew in Sierra Leone is teaching and baptizing people of part of her legacy.

Someday we may know. For now, we can always hope and dream, that perhaps are lives are 1: that interconnected, and 2: that significant.

And I have a strong feeling that both are true on those counts.

Blog on, EMC

March Fourth

My mom marched on.

So that became the last, it seems fitting, question my grandma Nellie would ask, which we have recently related to my mom: what was the only date that was also a command?

March Fourth. And she did on that day.

My grandma's youngest daughter, Ruth Muriel McWilliams at birth, passed away this past March 4th on Tuesday. It was a long week for me, even longer for others involved like my step-father Terry and oldest sister Monique.

She was my mom living for 73 years.

I have been thinking a lot about her lately, obviously.

Glad to have been raised and loved by her.

Seeing Through a Glass Darkly---Light Comes Through

A great and wise person said:

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,"

I know my mother has suffered quite a while; recently and over the years. I remember going to Methodist Hospital with her in 1981 when she was receiving radiation therapy after the removal of the cancerous uterus that had affected her. I remember seeing small children with marker stripes on their bald heads in the waiting room and cancer ward there. I remember my mom taking Books of Mormon to Indianapolis to the doctors, nurses and patients that she knew. My mom had charity and love for those she suffered with.Even those that she was served by.

" Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;"

My mom is not perfect and perhaps has made a few people upset. I remember when she lived on 6th street around 1986 and was single, having a disagreement with a neighbor, friend and fellow church member. My mom was surprised by the friend's offense, which my mom claims she did not intend. But they soon got over it. That neighbor from long ago, who taught me church lessons as an 8 year old in the 1970s, (my primary teacher when I was baptized), came by yesterday  (Monday) and gave us food and love and support. She herself is fighting cancer across her body. It was this person my mother called this past week about hospice and how to deal with the oncoming seriousness of her plight. My mother thinks ill of no one. Disappointments? Sure. Dark feelings? No. Despite her own bouts with dark weeks and months in the past, my mother hope and light. When I see her eyes these last few days, she says little but her eyes speak mysteries and light , her bright eyes reflect brilliantly and dreamy visions of life, albeit through a dark glass. Her mind and tongue are obfuscated, but her soul is strong and vibrant. I feel it through a narrow glass, or veil.

"Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;"

My mom sings with gusto. She went to Asia twice with my step-dad to serve and make all aware of her testimony and beliefs. And to feed them, physically and spiritually. I would say that she was always seeking for the good, the better path, the compassion and truth of matters. She served with Terry as special assigned missionaries to the Young Single Adults in Bloomington and the former Spencer, Indiana LDS Branch. She loves things about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She loves her family and antiques and beautiful things, her friends and loved ones. She served some who were hospice themselves at Meadowood. She loved her family and friends, always.

"Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

Yeah, that describes my mom.

"Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."

My mom believed a dreamt prophesy or promise that she would live to be 85, or until 2025. Terry said she had the dream maybe 5 years ago (2009).This may not happen. But my mom is eternal. She does possess charity. It lives on beyond the grave. And she will be back to feel all this love on the earth again. Perhaps now is the appropriate time for the other realm. Which way do we see through the glass? From whence comes the light?

"For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away."

My mom has faith and hope in many things. The resurrection of our bodies, the redemption of our souls, the restoring of the hairs of our heads and the palms of our hands and souls of our feet. My mom knows she will live again, and for now we will see through the glass darkly at times, but other times the light, even blinding at times, will shine and pour its way through. It will touch us, it will warm us, it will fill us. It will be rapture, in the most amazing way possible.We shall see it. We shall know it. She knows it.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

When my mom was a small child, she smoked cigarettes with her older siblings. She also remembers being the charity case family at their small town school in Hanover, Massachusetts. People had pity for the McWilliams and brought them food. Perhaps that was a stigma. But no more.

My mom has enjoyed the greatest of these gifts, being charity, and through God and Christ will have it through the eternities. I hope to join her, along with all the other saints and angels and disciples of the Master.

Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.  For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries. But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort. He that speaketh in an unknown tongue edifieth himself; but he that prophesieth edifieth the church. I would that ye all spake with tongues but rather that ye prophesied: for greater is he that prophesieth than he that speaketh with tongues, except he interpret, that the church may receive edifying.

 Now, brethren, if I come unto you speaking with tongues, what shall I profit you, except I shall speak to you either by revelation, or by knowledge, or by prophesying, or by doctrine?

We will hear and feel what the truth is. We will recognize it through the Chosen people of our Father. My mom is one of them! I am blessed. Now, then, and tomorrow. My own children and family is blessed into the future for this.

 "And even things without life giving sound, whether pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it be known what is piped or harped? For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle? So likewise ye, except ye utter by the tongue words easy to be understood, how shall it be known what is spoken? for ye shall speak into the air. There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.  Therefore if I know not the meaning of the voice, I shall be unto him that speaketh a barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a barbarian unto me.  Even so ye, forasmuch as ye are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek that ye may excel to the edifying of the church.  Wherefore let him that speaketh in an unknown tongue pray that he may interpret.  For if I pray in an unknown tongue, my spirit prayeth, but my understanding is unfruitful.
 What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also.  Else when thou shalt bless with the spirit, how shall he that occupieth the room of the unlearned say Amen at thy giving of thanks, seeing he understandeth not what thou sayest?

I cannot claim to understand everything. I cannot fully fathom the love my mom has for me or mine for her. But I do understand that this love is perfect. It is charity. It is grace. It is peace.

I am not bragging about my mom. I am simply telling what I know, feel and remember.

I love my mom. I love Paul. I love the Creator and Bestower of all things. I love all truth. Some is hard and painful. Some truth is empowering and liberating.

Some truth we can only see through a glass darkly, as Paul preached.

But through that glass, we can see and feel who we really are.

We are all Children of a Loving Father.

And I am happy to have been a part of those children that I have mentioned, particularly the one who we surround on this cold, brumal day. Wintry and freezing, but warm and bright. Light everlasting.

I see the light. I feel it. I know it.

Thanks for letting me see.

EMC

Made it to Hospice

If anyone read the last blog post I wrote, you may know that it is a serious and a solemn time for me and my family. My other is gravely ill and things are looking difficult for her to survive.

I was able to travel from the East Coast on Saturday to be here in Indiana with my mom, her husband, and for now my oldest sister to take care of her. We decided by Sunday (yesterday) to bring her here. We are at a nice hospice, a place where some patients might recover but the majority do not.

The time since being here Saturday evening has been difficult, but good from a standpoint of being close to her and the family. We have time to discuss things and work out details with thought and preparation. My sister has been here over a week and she has helped immensely. They tried their best, bringing my mother to different doctors and clinics. But it seems the time has come to release my mom from the physical ailments that have caught up with her.

The last 8 days, perhaps she has decreased from about 75% activity to about 5 %. She is mostly sleeping now, and does not say much when she opens her eyes.

Gradual yet sudden. I talked to her meaningfully for the last time in the past week from my home 12 hours away. Since being here, she has heard me and sometimes understood me but not that much. She is more aware of my sister and step-father.

She may get a boost of energy or lucidity in the near future. We do not know. But we are making plans for her farewell. It is sad, but we are lucky to have each other.

And have plans and preparations.

And have a mom, if only for 73 wondrous years. A wife, and caregiver, and soul-mate to many.

Love you dearly.

EMC (#1 Son)