Seeing Through a Glass Darkly---Light Comes Through

A great and wise person said:

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,"

I know my mother has suffered quite a while; recently and over the years. I remember going to Methodist Hospital with her in 1981 when she was receiving radiation therapy after the removal of the cancerous uterus that had affected her. I remember seeing small children with marker stripes on their bald heads in the waiting room and cancer ward there. I remember my mom taking Books of Mormon to Indianapolis to the doctors, nurses and patients that she knew. My mom had charity and love for those she suffered with.Even those that she was served by.

" Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;"

My mom is not perfect and perhaps has made a few people upset. I remember when she lived on 6th street around 1986 and was single, having a disagreement with a neighbor, friend and fellow church member. My mom was surprised by the friend's offense, which my mom claims she did not intend. But they soon got over it. That neighbor from long ago, who taught me church lessons as an 8 year old in the 1970s, (my primary teacher when I was baptized), came by yesterday  (Monday) and gave us food and love and support. She herself is fighting cancer across her body. It was this person my mother called this past week about hospice and how to deal with the oncoming seriousness of her plight. My mother thinks ill of no one. Disappointments? Sure. Dark feelings? No. Despite her own bouts with dark weeks and months in the past, my mother hope and light. When I see her eyes these last few days, she says little but her eyes speak mysteries and light , her bright eyes reflect brilliantly and dreamy visions of life, albeit through a dark glass. Her mind and tongue are obfuscated, but her soul is strong and vibrant. I feel it through a narrow glass, or veil.

"Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;"

My mom sings with gusto. She went to Asia twice with my step-dad to serve and make all aware of her testimony and beliefs. And to feed them, physically and spiritually. I would say that she was always seeking for the good, the better path, the compassion and truth of matters. She served with Terry as special assigned missionaries to the Young Single Adults in Bloomington and the former Spencer, Indiana LDS Branch. She loves things about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She loves her family and antiques and beautiful things, her friends and loved ones. She served some who were hospice themselves at Meadowood. She loved her family and friends, always.

"Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

Yeah, that describes my mom.

"Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."

My mom believed a dreamt prophesy or promise that she would live to be 85, or until 2025. Terry said she had the dream maybe 5 years ago (2009).This may not happen. But my mom is eternal. She does possess charity. It lives on beyond the grave. And she will be back to feel all this love on the earth again. Perhaps now is the appropriate time for the other realm. Which way do we see through the glass? From whence comes the light?

"For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away."

My mom has faith and hope in many things. The resurrection of our bodies, the redemption of our souls, the restoring of the hairs of our heads and the palms of our hands and souls of our feet. My mom knows she will live again, and for now we will see through the glass darkly at times, but other times the light, even blinding at times, will shine and pour its way through. It will touch us, it will warm us, it will fill us. It will be rapture, in the most amazing way possible.We shall see it. We shall know it. She knows it.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

When my mom was a small child, she smoked cigarettes with her older siblings. She also remembers being the charity case family at their small town school in Hanover, Massachusetts. People had pity for the McWilliams and brought them food. Perhaps that was a stigma. But no more.

My mom has enjoyed the greatest of these gifts, being charity, and through God and Christ will have it through the eternities. I hope to join her, along with all the other saints and angels and disciples of the Master.

Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.  For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries. But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort. He that speaketh in an unknown tongue edifieth himself; but he that prophesieth edifieth the church. I would that ye all spake with tongues but rather that ye prophesied: for greater is he that prophesieth than he that speaketh with tongues, except he interpret, that the church may receive edifying.

 Now, brethren, if I come unto you speaking with tongues, what shall I profit you, except I shall speak to you either by revelation, or by knowledge, or by prophesying, or by doctrine?

We will hear and feel what the truth is. We will recognize it through the Chosen people of our Father. My mom is one of them! I am blessed. Now, then, and tomorrow. My own children and family is blessed into the future for this.

 "And even things without life giving sound, whether pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it be known what is piped or harped? For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle? So likewise ye, except ye utter by the tongue words easy to be understood, how shall it be known what is spoken? for ye shall speak into the air. There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.  Therefore if I know not the meaning of the voice, I shall be unto him that speaketh a barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a barbarian unto me.  Even so ye, forasmuch as ye are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek that ye may excel to the edifying of the church.  Wherefore let him that speaketh in an unknown tongue pray that he may interpret.  For if I pray in an unknown tongue, my spirit prayeth, but my understanding is unfruitful.
 What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also.  Else when thou shalt bless with the spirit, how shall he that occupieth the room of the unlearned say Amen at thy giving of thanks, seeing he understandeth not what thou sayest?

I cannot claim to understand everything. I cannot fully fathom the love my mom has for me or mine for her. But I do understand that this love is perfect. It is charity. It is grace. It is peace.

I am not bragging about my mom. I am simply telling what I know, feel and remember.

I love my mom. I love Paul. I love the Creator and Bestower of all things. I love all truth. Some is hard and painful. Some truth is empowering and liberating.

Some truth we can only see through a glass darkly, as Paul preached.

But through that glass, we can see and feel who we really are.

We are all Children of a Loving Father.

And I am happy to have been a part of those children that I have mentioned, particularly the one who we surround on this cold, brumal day. Wintry and freezing, but warm and bright. Light everlasting.

I see the light. I feel it. I know it.

Thanks for letting me see.

EMC