Not Being Sure
There are times for all of us when we are not sure;
Not confident.
Not self-believing.
Not assured that we are good enough
Not smart enough
Not good enough to do what we want to do
And maybe nobody likes us.
Some call this lack of confidence
Or low self-esteem.
But there are limits to what anyone can do.
We have to be confident in what we can do
What we can influence,
What we can change
What we can accomplish
What we can successfully do.
We are realists, we know what is possible, and probable
We doubt ourselves
I doubt myself. I am among the unsure.
Maybe things come stronger with age.
Age, more advanced, with histories of not achieving things.
Being shut down, shut out, passed over.
Losing.
All these things add up to the state of being sure.
Or, not being sure.
Sure.
I have stepped on a basketball court,
Unsure of my place.
Unsure of my shot.
Unsure of my body.
Unsure of my brain.
My teammates can probably tell.
I play basketball, and many times I am not sure.
Of that, I am sure of.
We have a surety of our unsurety.
And this happens every day;
Some of us more sure than others.
I am not sure of a lot of things.
I am sure of some things.
I am not sure if I can meet all my goals.
I am not sure if my leg can keep doing its job,
Or if my strength can continue to do the plank and the runs
Or if my judgment can be sure enough to get all the jobs done.
All the work, all the tasks, all the plans, all the things
That most of us need to be sure of.
But it is okay, because things have been all right,
Despite the failings and coming up short.
Failed to make weight.
(Five pounds over).
Failed to do the perfect push ups
(I did about forty, but only 16 counted)
Failed to get that job,
Pass that test
Run the race faster,
Failed to be smarter.
It can be hard to be sure.
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