Karmic Reasons for the COVID Plague, 2020

Karmic Reasons for the COVID Plague, 2020

Caveat: If someone currently or in the future takes any of these possibilities seriously, know that these are created out of a fancy of exaggeration, hyperbole, hubris, and jocosity (aka humor).

What brought about this awful plague?

1. The Chosen One, quarterback Tom Brady, had been relegated to the scrap heap by the mighty New England Patriots. Thanks a lot, Bill Bellichek! COVID-19 is on you! Or more likely Robert Kraft, you Miami south Florida flesh monger. Karma is crazy.

Or, it happened because:

2. The other Chosen One, Lebron James, had chosen the Lakers a couple of years ago after abandoning Cleveland for the second time, and these Lakers were really good in March coming down the home stretch. He got hurt when they were sad last year.  Kobe died in January, Magic contracted HIV in 1991, and Abdul-Jabbar couldn't figure out his finances until he was 50 or so. Wilt slept around too much, too. There is a lot of Lakers karma, and maybe it adds up in ways people did not suspect?

Sorry Lakers fans, nothing personal, but you have too many rings, and I am still hurting from when you beat my Pacers back in 2000. Karma comes around. Thanks, COVID-19, for preventing another Lakers championship?

Or: 

3. The other Chosen One, Tiger Woods, was going to win another major or two this year. Jack Nicklaus, your all time majors record is mostly safe for this year and a little more into the future. I still think that Tiger has what it takes to eventually win it, though.

Or perhaps, karma intervened tragically because: 

4. The possible best baseball player of all time, Mike Trout, might have had a shot at the playoffs this year, especially since All-Clutch Mr. Nat Anthony Rendon left DC for the Angels. I am not saying the baseball season of 2020 is cancelled yet. Heck, they may even play the World Series until Christmas of 2020, some say, after an abbreviated season . And, I don't think corona will kill Christmas, at least not in the United States or Canada. (Shout out to the great white north, Blue Jays!)

Why else could karma have caused this terrible global catastrophe?

(Newsflash: Major League Baseball is considering playing a full delayed season at empty venues. Stay tuned.)

5. Serena Williams, another Chosen One, needs to postpone her records.

6. The three Great Ones of Tennis are getting older, while their majors pass by idle... Namely: Federer of Switzerland, Nadal of Spain, and Djokovic of Serbia.

It, this crushing pandemic of our age, probably wasn't based on the karma of sports or their players or managers, owners, and fans, but something more divisive.

7. Impeachment wasn't enough, the U.S. President needed humbling. Whoo! Be careful what you ask for.

It probably had nothing to do with mere sports or the U.S. , it was more likely based on religious eschatologies, like:

8. The Jewish people have taken it from the fiendish Gentiles long enough. Karma has a long memory, older than the Torah. Biblical retribution is in play, o goyim and anti-Semites of past and present.

9.  The Muslims needed a break from the Western enemies. Let's see what else Allah has in store for the non-believers, the infidel kuffer, as it were...

10. The Christian Bible thumpers have more reason to keep thumpin'. Thump, thump.

11. Missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints needed to be shaken up a little bit, and some of their families and friends needed some sense knocked into them (yes, you, bunched up masses at the Salt Lake Airport!).

12. Millions of Buddhists and Hindus have their reasons. Perhaps ask one, or read some of their literature.

13. A small handful of atheists have their reasons.

14. Nihilists have plenty of karmic reasons why this plague is occurring.

Okay, politics is the real fiend in all things nowadays! Right CNN, MSNBC, Fox, Al-Jazeera, Al-Arabiya, BBC, CBS and NBC, New York Times, the Guardian, Reuters and on and on?

15. The Chinese government is an awfully terrible regime that concocted a bio-weapon that got  out of control.

16. The Russian government, conspiring with Iran, spread the novel virus based in Wuhan, Hubei State, China to rock the world. To get the current superpowers mad at each other. And we Americans thought that their (Russian) social-political meddling in our elections were bad! Oh, those Russkies! Don't trust.

17. Stealing some ideas from my favorite South American rock group of all time, Los Prisioneros, which means there are other culprits to consider, which may involve money profits or power grabs:

Other conspiracy theories: Who created COVID 19? The press, or maybe the radio? Who created COVID 19? The television or El Raton Mickey (Mickey Mouse)? 

Or was this pestilence more about something evil more in the 21st century? Was it Netflix? Instagram? Snapchat? Google or Amazon, or heaven forbid: Apple?

18. Politics and military, sliding into real politik, if you will (shout out to my UCLA professor Arthur Stein), definitely give karmic if not real world reasons that this thing has happened. However, there are some fantastic reasons as well...

All right, enough weak speculations and beating around the bushes about this karma thing and the deadly virus like novel corona:

19. The DC movie makers and comic story creators had enough of the Marvel movies their characters' supremacy in the world of hero entertainment. The bats of the Dark Knight had to contaminate the Wuhan folks, suspiciously close to a biological laboratory in that part of China... But yeah, it's Batman's fault. Maybe even some of Wonder Woman's, based on how Gal Godot started singing the whole Imagine thing...

20. Okay, I could go on as to how the karma of the ages has created this devilish pestilence, this major disaster of our . Sure, the scientists know it is a natural cycle of life, which involves a lot of death. I could list and speculate on a hundred other reasons, and many of them could be true, or most of them could be the most preposterous thing you have ever heard.

Suffice it to say, karma may or may not have to do with it.

But if I had to put money on it, I would say China and Christianity, or the West and the East, symbolized almost two perfectly by the two super powers, have a hard time mixing, and if there is a benevolent and punishing God or gods above or below or somewhere in our galaxy or greater universe, the absolute confluence of factors is further proof to all of us that truth is indeed, stranger than fiction.

Post-logue
I read this to my family yesterday, and I think it merited mixed reviews. Yes, I admit that this topic, nay, even karma let alone COVID-19, are not so much laughing matters and are serious and somber. But, perhaps some karmic levity is at times a type of medicine for our ills.

And yeah, I miss sports. And a few other things.

Also, in my defense, or the defense of those who ply a bit of humor in times of stress and tragedy, Joseph Heller made some hilarious and light observations of World War II, and war in general.

MASH, the movie and television show, kept it going.

Let's laugh in our pain, I pray.