Following Jesus and His Plan - Part II

    Last post I talked about Christian beliefs in general, I mentioned a case of a friend or associate that died earlier in life, and perhaps made some choices that took him off the path that he recognized was the Way, the true method or trail to engage with and come to Christ. I would like to investigate my own ways, but knowing that this is not a private journal I do not want to be too self-revelatory or confessing. Private things should stay private. However, I think it is possible to acknowledge personal strengths and weaknesses in order to assess, correct and adjust, and improve. But first, this Sabbath morning I will take a couple of minutes to order my Patriarchal Blessing. My wife and I have talked about this, and I need to do it.

    God has a design for me personally. He does for all of us.

    How do we know what He wants for us personally? (I soon thereafter looked up my blessing; I found it and shared it with my wife, today.) How do we figure out our His will for us and perhaps for all of us?

    Wow! The copy of the blessing was right there. Online. It did not need to come in the mail. That was nice.

    It was good to read. My patriarch, we believe, was speaking the words of God to me, individually.

    Okay, back to strengths and weaknesses. We all have many. I know that I have a few of both. I am normal like others in some ways, but I likely have a few that are more unique.

    I thought that maybe in this post I could run through some of my bests and worsts, but now I more realize this is not the time or place to do so. Many of those things should remain private with God. I do not even have to share them much with my closest confidants. As an analyst, who wishes to solve problems, both those belonging to me and to others, I wish to put these things out there to investigate, but some of them are to remain private, hidden from all the world but God, who has power to forgive. Rehashing sins and some errors or problems will not solve the issues, but perhaps make them worse for me or others.

    Some are less harmful to share openly. For example, an overindulgence of my like or propensity for watching and following some sports. Those things can pile up and be wasteful of time and priorities. I have likely spent too much time in the pursuit of some of those entertainments and not enough on more crucial and vital matters. Like family. Homework. Other academic or inspiring, edifying things. Service. Church or other volunteer work.

    Yes, that is a safe example to share that has been an issue in much of my life.

    Overeating, or too many snacks or sweets.

    Sure.

    Are there ten more? Maybe. Sure, given the year and the occasion. Tempted by indecent or restricted films. Going too far in thoughts and actions against laws of God, or laws of the land. Dwelling on things that are not appropriate, like excessive sexual ideations, or violence or other wrong behavior. 

    Anger. Jealousy. Hatred. Evil thoughts. (Revenge, or a host of others.) Envy. Greed. Lust. Hubris and pride.

    There are the historical seven deadly or venal sins. Some of it is avarice and gluttony.

    All of these drives, emotions, feelings, and attitudes, and acts bring us into a state of impurity.

    We as followers of Jesus wish to rid ourselves of the imperfections that we have accrued and through His blood, grace, Atonement, love, and devotion, wish to be clean and good in the eyes of God.

    I have striven to do this throughout my life, but I readily admit that I cannot slay all the imperfect thoughts or actions that I would like to do. I am far from perfect. There are sins of commission and sins of omission; perhaps my omitted sins loom larger. All of the weaknesses that can drag on us may slow us down, even stop, or damn us.

    We strive for faith and charity, the pure love of Jesus, for showing our love for God and our Neighbor as the great commandments claim, and to follow the Golden Rule.

    We adhere to follow the ten Commandments, specifically to put God first and worship Him above all else, keep the Sabbath day holy, not blaspheme, and honor our parents. We vow to and work at not lying, stealing, murdering, or commit adultery, which involves participating in many types of sexual sin.

    Can we achieve the mark of being cleansed in Jesus' name? I believe it. His Holy Spirit purifies us as we come to Him, lay our sins before Him, ask for forgiveness and promise to be better. To improve. To be purer, be truer. To be more Christian and not get stuck in our own selfish pursuits or ruts.

    Selfish pursuits and ruts. I believe that can explain much of my weaknesses and sins over the years.

    I try to not commit too many sins, but they happen. We ask God for pardon in His Son's name, and we receive that cleansing. And as we say, we "rinse and repeat." It can or should be a daily or weekly process.

    Being Christian is being fallen and sometimes broken, that leads to humility and contrition, which leads to forgiveness, cleanliness, and joy. The end state, or not truly "end", but the continual state is being renewed and refreshed and restored in the love and hope of Redemption, which only comes from Christ.

    Simple enough? Easy enough? It can be difficult, but it is very worth living and doing. When we shun Jesus we are removing the best of who we can be. We need to accept Him and live His ways.

    I am so grateful that I have lived long enough to be on this continued path. Others have not made it as long; they pass on to the next life and have finished this portion of the journey. May God bless them and the rest of us to be happy, contented with our lots, and cleansed from iniquity and error.

    Let us follow the plan and worship, seek, and follow the Master.

    Be clean and pardoned, and go forward in Him, and His wonderful life for us all.

    And all this? It requires work. We must not fear or become apathetic in working to love and serve God and be active participants in His causes.

 Following Jesus

    As a Christian we get our marching orders from Jesus of Nazareth. His word is true and faithful. It should suffice. Meaning, we can follow His commands, and we will arrive in life and death and judgment and post-life where we need to go. With Him, we wish to arrive, and to be together and re-united with all His Sons and Daughters. All together with God the Father of us all. The next life has its promise and reward; also, in this life the Good News Gospel of the Saviour has its function, utility, and, powerful purpose in enriching our lives.

    We believers believe that this is true, based on our knowledge and convictions of who He is. He Is. The Great I Am, for those that have faith in Him. He is the Author and Finisher, the Alpha and Omega.

    Depending on which denomination and type of Church we belong to, we may have different expectations of how to follow His commands. Some of us believe we make solemn commitments to Him through baptism and other holier sacraments. We also may believe in being actively engaged in His Church, if we believe there is one that possesses His authority. Some Christians believe that God and Christ's authority derive from the Holy Bible. These are usually Protestant and Evangelical Christian strains that originally broke off the Roman Catholic Church because of the claim of priesthood authority presupposed upon man instead of "God's Word", which is the Bible, as they interpret it.

    Grace and forgiveness come Jesus and God, but are there more parts to their servants on the Earth?

    Many Christians do not think there is an earthly authority for God's religion, official or otherwise. Not having Christ's priesthood as the Catholics, Orthodox, or those of my faith (LDS, Church of Jesus Christ) claim to have, plus some other traditional mainline Protestant faiths like Anglicans, Lutherans, or other. All Christians claim some type of conduit or permission to Christ's power and faith, whereas many believe it to be direct and not through any other channel other than Him. Christ is all powerful, in that most Christians can agree. The follow up questions: does He have apostles today, or other representatives of the "cloth" or official clergymen who work in His name?

    Hence all the denominations and discussions, debates as to who has the truth of the Son of God and who is in error.

    Who is on the Lord's side, who?

    Within my faith, my belief system, we have community and individual problems or challenges. How often do I pray sincerely? How much do I study the scriptures? How do I worship, and how much do I serve my family and other members, and those in the missionary efforts?

    How much do I focus my faith on and in the Lord of All, my Redeemer Jesus Christ? How much do I rely in His gifts, mercy, Atonement, exculpatory powers, grace, love, hope, and plan? How much do I turn away from Him and potentially offend the Holy Spirit? How much do I actively keep the commandments of God? How much do I honor my priesthood and seek His will?

    Life and the Gospel of Jesus Christ are not about comparing to others, but sometimes we cannot help but see ourselves like others or be in their shoes. I had a friend from childhood, who, like many of us, recognized that he wanted to follow on the path of Jesus, but sometimes he became lost or errant, and he found himself having wandered off the path of the Savior. But then as a pattern, he would return. 

    This friend was named Bobby; I used his real name in a post back in 2012 or so and the mother, or the friend of the mother, also, questioned why I would write about him. Me too, but with different points of view. If I were his only son, part of his legacy on the earth, I would like to know about my dad who died at about age 30, of a drug overdose. I thought that They were concerned for Bobby's surviving son, because I speculated that Bobby might have taken his own life, which was worth analyzing and perhaps figuring out, as a friend, brother, and Christian, what not to fall into in order to avoid succumbing to what happened to him. He drank beer with buddies, divorced his wife, and moved to the next state, California, which was close to me.

    I am not saying good Christian people cannot drink beers. However, us Church members of Jesus Christ of my faith have covenanted not to imbibe any alcohol. Kind of like a higher order of priesthood or self-sacrificing group of followers. Us Latter-day Saints have some tighter restrictions and laws as followers, saints, of Jesus. Bobby, like me, was a Mormon, as we are nicknamed. I later talked to his ex-wife. We spoke a bit about faith and practice.

    How are we Christians? How do we practice and apply the Gospel in our lives? She wanted to maintain her faith, which she was a convert to. I encouraged her to keep on, and gave as much consoling as I could. She needed to be there for the surviving son, small back then, but by now a full-grown man and perhaps a father of his own, making his way and choosing his own life paths. Would he be like his dad? He would have grown up with his new step-dad, but perhaps a part of him wonders about his biological father who helped his mother into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

    I knew him and his mother growing up. Maybe his son would like to know a few things about his dad from me. 

    

    Anyway, we are all Christians, or not, following Him, or not, and we may or not have questions about how or why we do things.

How do we follow Him? How do we commit errors? How do we right ourselves? How do we repent? How do we seek and approach forgiveness?

    I have more to say about my personal struggles with all these things, and my speculations about maintaining faith and love and commitment to my Lord and Savior. We also, of course, do not live in a vacuum, but we are connected to our loved ones, friends, colleagues, and numerous others that we influence or are influenced by...

    My wife, my kids, my parents, my siblings, my cousins and aunts and uncles, all have part of how I fit into my relationship and ongoing relationship to Jesus. It boils down to me, in the end, but all of the people around us have affect in the process and journey of faith in Him.

    Good enough to post for now.

    Catch you next time.

 

 Fiction Helps Us Process Real Life

    Some of us, perhaps most of us, spend many hours looking at, watching, following, thinking about fiction in various forms. This can include songs, or poems, or visual arts like paintings and sculptures, but more normally in the modern world means movies, television shows, and perhaps You Tube and other social media broadcasts. Although I have left out video games, which are huge ways of approaching fiction and fantasy for many people. And of course, literature in all its forms: books, plays, articles, comic books, and combinations of all of the above. We can act out fictitious characters among ourselves, playing the part of others, like "make believe" or role playing.

    Children do those fantasy characters, by acting or using dolls or action figures, but grown-ups also can play or even more realistically pretend to be something notionally or in a play or dress up role. 

    Why do we do all the fiction and fantasy? It helps us escape from perhaps more tedious or boring realities, sure, but I think that fiction and with it science fiction and fantasy help us process and deal with real life fears, concerns, curiosities, whims, wonderments, and problems that we wish to explore.

    I am not the first to write of this. Hundreds and thousands of philosophers and thinkers have thought of these ideas before. Religions, myths, creation stories.

    Oh, and me of all people forgot another type of fantasy or myth: sports teams, athletes, and games and acts of physical and mental endurance! How could I leave those crucial "non-reality" acts out of the picture? They are semi-reality contests against ourselves and others, usually, contests of skill and strength and know-how. They test us, but not for actual survival or reality dominance. It is done in the name of sport, not normally to the death, or intended to maim or kill anyone.

    All these games and fictionalized stories allow us to vicariously or more directly engage in the emotions and explorations of dealing with real threats, issues, and problems.

    We live in a world of monsters, as it were. They exist. The worst of us humans have been pretty bad. Before Idi Amin and Pol Pot and other atrocious humans of the 20th century, there were replete lists of others, mostly men and powerful leaders, who wreaked havoc and utter mayhem against other human beings in all parts of the planet.

    

    We still have such beasts and ogres in all times and stations. At the lower levels we have socio-paths and psychopaths, those who steal, lie, harm, and cause grief at individual and local levels; then we have the more powerful ones that take over villages or nations and countries, and empires. There are evil acts of all varieties that happen in our lives and history. Sexual abuses, fratricides, infanticides, genocides, and on and on. Whether big or small, at the little level or at the grander scales, we all deal with problems that we are working on. Destruction of animals or plants and trees, or other natueal environements.

    Of course! We work n...

    Whoops, got distracted; I do not know what I was going to write there.

    All the above to say, that we use fiction and fantasy to work out our own realities.

    We can combat and conquer, or at least more bravely face our fears and inner-most demons through stories of heroism, romance, adventure, plot machinations, evil plans of those that we dread, or those that perhaps some envy and wish to emulate. We like the heroes, but we identify with the anti-heroes, too.

    So there you have it. My takes on the whys and wherefores of fiction and fantasy.

    Now I will go read some more Star Wars short stories published in 1997...

    Beam me up, Spock.

 I Miss my Wife - Time and Circumstances

    Songs and melodies all try to say what I want to convey as they may do. However, I have my own thoughts and perspectives to personalize my love and devotion, my respect and appreciation. 

    I write this now because I miss her. She is away and then I will be away. Slightly more than two weeks apart. It has been since 2023 that so much time passed between us. Or maybe last July? No, I do not think it was that long, last year... We have had these extended times of separation before in the 25 years we have known and grown and loved each other. There were times when I was not as supportive as I needed to be; she bore with me. Some of those times was when I was in the house! She has been an amazing constant friend and love to me. At times I feel like writing or explaining these things and sentiments in order to somehow catch up on any lost times or expressions of love and meaningful interactions, communications, and support.

    Perhaps I can write a poem that can be converted to song. (Maybe see end of this post for that.)

   

     Most of us have observed and/or experienced many married couples throughout our years and lifetimes. We see loving and successful cases, and we can see the opposite sides of these relationships. We learn from our own parents, and our grandparents, uncles and aunts, oftentimes siblings and cousins, friends, neighbors, church or worship associates, co-workers and colleagues. We can see and learn about vicariously 

    Sometimes we are saddened or dismayed by marital problems and disputes among matrimonial pairs, many of them ending in divorce. We know of those who do not stay loyal within the fidelities of their commitments. We know of cases where a member of a heterosexual relationship ends it leaving for someone of their same gender. Others cheat with someone else, someone who offered a want, need, or desire that perhaps was not available in their own marriage. Other couples have irreconcilable differences that end things. There are as many reasons for marriages to end as there are reasons to come together in the first place. Perhaps that is not true.

    

    Most people get married to enjoy a life of love and stability, to have children, to grow and expand as traditional families do. This has occurred for thousands of years. It is how most of the human race has progressed and propagated. Within my faith, the one my parents joined and raised me in, marriage is a vital institution and sacrament that makes us holier, more consecrated, closer to God and His Son Jesus, and become more like them. Men and women come together to achieve more godliness and consecration in partnership and servitude. We are not the only religion that promotes this, but hard to find an organized denomination that emphasizes marriage and having kids as much as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

    She and I are life-long believing members; we are invested in this institution and to each other. 25 years have provided ups and downs, trials and challenges, but we usually come through pretty well. I think that we both agree that we have given each other many days, weeks, months, and years of joy and happiness. It is not all roses. There can be weeds that encroach and there can be a few briars and thorns.

    But overall? Wonderful bouquets and amazing gardens of delight. Yes.

    Yes! Oh, how I love her. We have a strong, great history. There is trust and forbearance, patience and strength. I can do better, and we recognize that. No one is perfect. We realize that.

    She knows she is not perfect. But she is to me. Always giving, sharing. Caring. I try. We all know I am far from perfect. After 25 years, I hope to have another 25, if lucky, maybe even 11,000 days. Minus the separation time due to travel. Which absences we can make up for when together again. So it is believed. We can be away from one another, and work together as a couple and a family, and be united.

    Is all this so sappy? Corny? Mushy? Trite or superficial? Or is it too private to share with others? No.

    I think I need to write these things. Let others see, or know, or feel. Share with me, and anyone, what I know, what I feel. I have heard and believed since the 1980s: write what you know.

    Is this what I know? I believe so.

    My Life Partner

    Before we met,

    I had a life.

    She had a life.

    We had our families

    Siblings

    Friends - relationships with God

    We had romances.

    Fleeting, or somewhat serious

    We had tried loving others.

    But this one

    She 

    Was different.

    She ... was mine?

    Was I hers?

    I met with her

    Again, and again

    It never got old, never got awkward

    Always lovely

    Always kind

    Fun, motivating, inspirational

    We got serious

    We were committed to one another

    We married

    Knowing each other's families

    

    She accepted me

    Supported me

    I shared with her

    and we became one

    

    A summer together

    Then fall

    A Mediterranean winter

    In a small apartment

    

    She was pregnant

    We went to my home state for Christmas

    Then on to Mexico

    We climbed pyramids, among ruins, she with child

    There was a couple (maybe one) doubter:

    Having a baby so soon! Could this be right?

    We thought so. I was thirty, she was twenty-six

    We felt it right to bring life and share joy and love

    

    Turns out, despite my older age and starting college at age 17

    My wife had started a college course before that year at age 13!

    She can lead so often, I must learn to follow or support

    Be along for the adventures and plans

    

    Always ahead of her time, usually on the forward line

    We had good days and good nights

    She became accustomed to me

    Easier for me to her, but we were together and thrived

    

    She, with child

    Surviving, with nausea

    Her roundness, her energy, more beautiful than ever

    Moving forward

    

    We applied to graduate schools

    She always motivating, assisting

    I made it, we made it

    For the following fall

    

    Our amazing first child was born late that spring

    Giving us that summer together

    Preparing, nursing, getting ready for the next thing

    Knowing each other as friends and lovers

    

    On to the big city

    Where we lived idyllically 

    Our lives with the new one

    Growing and learning

    We graduated from the school

    Trying for the next big thing

    Although it was not that big, but we made do

    Growing closer to her family

    Spending time with the mom,

    And the sister,

   Creating another life,

   Welcoming another little child into the world

   

    Me working as I could, not landing the next big thing

    But getting by

    Saving for the future

    Which we did in South America

    For a short season

    To places and people I had known years prior

    And some new ones

    New outcomes.

    Life was coming and we got another little one

    conceived

    Who would become our third

    We returned north and moved to the East Coast

    We loved our lives, with struggles 

    Work was not easy, we could battle to pay bills

    And thus, our lives turn out to be...

    I decided, we decided, I should join up 

    And this has been us.

    Part One.

    

    Was this enough?

    Was it good enough?

    

    We loved our lives for the first six years,

    Seven years, eight years. 

    A uniform became an essence of our partnership.

    Duties bigger than me or us, at times.

    And, it did not end.

    It grew from there.

    More children came!

    

    We managed to work and prosper.

    But this part one, belonging to us, of she and I,

    I will write of and savor for now.

    Can you smell it? 

    Can we taste it?

    

    Countless memories

    While parts of us were still not started

    The full throng of our family

    Still not complete

    We were in it, and winning it

    But I am sure we had not yet arrived

    We had things to do.

    There were and are more parts pending.

    So, that is a story of me and her

    That has been us,

    In a few times, a few pairs of thousand days.

    The uniform brought money, and some security

    Some separation and apartness

    She was always there with the babies

    The children, our priority

    Could I, did I, always prioritize her?

    Could I, did I put God first, with my family?

    Did I have other concerns, other cares?

    I admit my slips, my distractions, my imperfections

    We could not always be together, nor I being there

    She took it, withstood it, had the family to be the constant

    I tried, but could be distant, even when present

    Was I one more mouth to feed, one more being to placate?

    I have some regrets, I could be better

    Therefore, my wife? She was the real soldier

    Always.

    Always there, never fail. This was our team.

    Always, forever, present and caring

    Loving, lovely, and tired.

    I only could do so much

    Or would do so much

    

    I had some warn me: do not lose her!

    This could awake me for moment

    Yet, I could be selfish, and still aloof

    Poof

    

    Far from the gallant hero, I would have wished of me

    Or she.

    Yet she stayed true.

    Forgiving, moving, plowing on.

    This is Part One, and next Part Two, and now Part Three...

    Where were we?

    What was this poem called?

    My life partner.

    My wife. My love. My companion.

    How much more could I love her?

    So many ways! I have been less than,

    And I feel it. I recognize.

    That all the parts are not guaranteed.

    There are no warranties in life. Perhaps death has some, we hope.

    We make covenants with God, and each other

    We can be woefully off, terribly amiss,

    Sadly mistaken, easily lead astray.

    All we, like sheep.

    Yet the Master finds us and makes us whole.

    Redeemed.

    Beloved, forgiven.

    And again, she loves me, she supports me,

    She keeps the family strong

    Meanwhile me, I am still living, 

    Fortunate that I have survived,

    We have survived! We, together. With the kids.

    Past Part One, and on to the others.

    Or... is this still part one?

    Is the separation and time, distance, from 2008 

     

    till now, 2025, one large part, an ever-connected

    Link. From then till now.

    We change, I have changed, she has changed

    We have grown, we have moved along

    We are new, but old, the same, but different.

    We are paradoxes.

    But beyond all the struggles, all the mistakes, all the challenges

    We are still us! We are one!

    Together! With some tears, some laughs, some pains.

    Regrets, as Sinatra sang

    But I regret nothing of her

    I know her, with abundant mysteries

    She knows me, with predictable trajectories

    She still loves me, and I her superbly

    It is not a perfect romance, 

    But she is a perfect friend.

    I am far from stellar, as a mate

    Yet we can make it to the stars together.

    

    She told me not to worry, I am hers. 

    I believe her!

    I believe in her. I love her, I cannot but do that.

    I simply need to act and do all that I can

    I will love her forever

    I wish to be hers, as she wishes to be mine.

    I desire nothing more.

    My life partner. In death may we dream far off,

    

    Greater and better things still.

    I will take this life for what has been, and what remains

    Cherish her, cherish us

    And give all I can to be hers and her hero.

    

    My life partner.