Dearest Ladies: I Wish to Offer You a Love Letter
This message is dedicated to the women that I have known for over two decades. This number of women that I have known more than 20 years has amassed into quite a number, starting with my wife, my two oldest daughters, my sisters, my mother and step-mother, my adopted grandmother, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, and quite a few nieces. Oh, and there are cousins! And aunts! Plus some step-sisters-in-law and step-nieces. All of you have been a significant part of my life. Nothing against the men or the boys, or the younger ladies I have known less than two decades; I am trying to narrow down this group a little bit to fit you all. I think it applies to all of you. Some more than others, obviously.
A wife of 25 years is no small thing, no small person. A lady intrinsic to what and who I am. We have discussed what it means lately, these last few months. Sacrifice. Forgiveness. What else? She has shared some quotes which are true and apropos. So many things. (This paragraph added the morning after publishing last night.)
How to proceed? A couple of caveats and explanations first. Over the course of my life I have written to a big number of you, hand written and electronic missives and notes, some from far away and others from nearby. It began in earnest while I was on my church mission, trying to keep closer correspondence with my mother and two sisters. But it was hard! We were given one day (until 6 pm) per week as missionaries to write our loved ones; there were weeks when I was scrambling to find the time or energy to supply those letters to those that I needed to. While my mom sent 104 to me for my two years of service, numbered as such, I think that I later counted 37 written to her. I tried to send frequently to my father and step-mother, too, and my two sisters, but I cannot think that I did that great a job sending those penned epistles. Had I had a triplequette letter writer, or however you spell the paper that allows copies of the mark to bleed through to make more copies, perhaps I would have been better at communicating from Utah and South America to the women in my life in the 20th century.
Alas, we had no emails back then. The old days.
What would emails and social media have done for some of those old relationships, now gone because of mortality overcoming their weathered bodies? Luckily for me, the ones that are gone in 2025 aged on and aged pretty well. 97, 81, and 73. Not bad for those ladies that I hold dear who have passed. There are a couple of aunts who are among their number as well, deceased. What does email and social media mean today? Are the messages watered down, less potent, because they are so readily available and almost an everyday or common event? Do we take our notes more for granted, perhaps? And what of these blogs? A semi-permanent record?
I used to write letters to a few young ladies that I dated, and a few that I did not, because I felt that I could control my messages and inputs to them in a more orderly and memorable, or more honest fashion. Is that true? If the words are printed they do have a chance of possessing a longer hold. And, perhaps the writer can have a more poignant effect in prose and poetry than simply speaking or even singing. I sing, but my songs are not Billy Joel nor Bruno Mars, nor Luis Miguel nor Miguel Bose. I might pull out a couple of tunes or sweet notes once in a while, but my written texts can have the voice that I wish to attain. And I wish to do so now, so bear down. Deal with my words and letters, my dear ones!
Ladies. You are my angels. You are my heroes and aids, my nurses and my leaders. While you share so much with me, for long years of attention given, and you look to love me with your acts and thoughts of kindness, I recognize that I have always received so much from you-- I wish to pay it back but I can be at a loss. I can at least express my gratitude here and now. Little recompense, assuredly, based on all the history of service and care rendered to me and my surrounding companions by you, at times, but I wish to minimally acknowledge the grand love and appreciation that it has caused within me.
Can I tell you how great you are? May I express how wonderful and how much you have meant to me over these long years? Some times have been leaner and harder than others, I know. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for your constant love, support, and care. You did not require much back. I owe you, forever and always.
For the ladies who were older, and now on to the next world: you showered me with love and attention, food and letters, cards and meals, medicines and presents, laundry and endless love in service and care. You brought me into the world of my youth and it bridged over into my adulthood. Thank you!
Now, the ladies who have been in my life since marriage, who have stayed with me this far into my fifties: me older, but in many ways no less needy or childish at times, you who have catered to my whims and collections, my hoarding and junk perusing, my messes and over-exuberance for things of little import or of silly significance. And on the other side, when I needed things of serious natures like nutrition, wardrobe, grooming, help with clerical or work issues. Ahh, it can be exhausting and little recognized. The calls and the bills and the procurement of all things, the working out of children's appointments, the schedules of them and me, coordinating and purchasing, the endless chores. The interminable belongings and collected items, to include books and nick knacks, boxes, shoes (that are spent, but difficult to part with), and other clothes and my things. Things, that collect dust and mean little to others...
This is my wife, for sure. She has endlessly supported and served me. I have spent time away, where she caters to my communications, sometimes not convenient in her day, but she has always been there to receive my calls. She has purchased the newer shirts, pants, socks, and all other accouterments, if it be military or whichever part...
Where to begin, where to end? My wife has been there so present and strong. She brought the other two ladies along, who are now headed on their respective paths, finding their way with their next men on the horizon, who may be like me but will not be, because each guy is different... They, these adult children, will be surrounded by others, men and women with other talents and gifts. Some a bit like me, but hopefully even better. I love them forever. I hope to see them on deep into their lives.
What kind of love letter is this? It is part mea culpa, part conciliatory admittance of how much debt, how much gratitude that I owe to all the ladies. Sure, I have had my times and stretches of working hard, sacrificing, sharing, and giving to these angels in my life. These workers, these mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins.
My angels and guardians. These women span centuries now.
I cannot repay them! But I will dedicate myself to love and cherish them! I will be there as a husband, father, uncle, and friend. I will sacrifice, scrimp and save and provide what I can for them. I have done this, more or less, all my life; I am committed to doing this all my life remaining. How much more can I live in order to share more with these ladies? I have more to share and give.
I am not that great at it. I have not earned a huge nest egg of wealth. I am only slowly accruing enough material gains in order to further provide for my wife, and progeny, and potentially savings past her and my lives. We are spending and living through the costs of this life to give them their earthly designs now. Money for goods and vacations and programs that they experience. Nothing huge, nothing so impressive as compared to the exploits of some, but hopefully satisfactory to them and us in the long run.
We have had to economize, to cut some corners and look for the best deals. My military time has cost us family time. I have been away during significant times in my wife's and children's lives, missing out on birthdays and celebrations, nice voyages that were memorable. They went on a few family trips sometimes while I was doing the military duties. I was happy that much of these trips were with extended family: grandparents, aunts, uncles, and the ever-present cousins. I was not in the direct picture multiple times, but I felt good that I was working, earning, and also doing my small part to protect the country and develop my personal skills toward more meaningful and even lucrative professional possibilities. Will some of those earnings pay forward into the future? They should, which is some consolation...
Enough about me, though! Well, in totality, I am in co-leagues with these women: therefore, I must relate how I fit into their lives, and they in mine. However, I am in debt and in life-bound service to these women and ladies, those past and present and future, for they are interwoven and a part of me, stretching forth from the past and deep into my soul. They are with me, and I with them.
You are indelibly and ineluctably a part of me. What do those words mean? What does it all mean? Does God really grant us an eternity of love and bliss, as it were, to those who stay in such tight circles and covenants? I pray so, I hope so. I have faith and trust that God has made it so. I believe.
What else must I say? They are loving, and kind, and share so much with me. They have given me incredibly of themselves: my wife, my daughters, my mothers, grandparents, my sisters, my cousins, my nieces. All the women, plus others that were not family as well. They brought to me all these wonderful things, with little pain or heartache. There has been some of that, with some times of setbacks or melancholy, but overall the shared life experiences, the interchanges, the love and hopes and efforts and all the memories have been sweet. The lifetime of you all and me.
I thank you, I love you. I cherish you! I cannot imagine my life without you.
Does this convey enough love? I think not. I should say and certainly do more to really show you how I feel.
I must act, and behave, and perform, and do. It must be more than words and letters. I must physically and emotionally give more.
I will. I give you my promise. You have not seen the end of me. Not yet. Perhaps some better is yet to come? Yes, I assure.
Who knows? The One on High knows. He knows and sees all. I will put more work and faith in Him.
Let us see, I pray thee.
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