Dreaming in Poems - Musing in Thoughts

    The other day

    

    Saturday

    I was watching college football,

    As I am wont to do

    On a weekend when I am not working

    Or having a painful infection

    Working, working

    Getting by.

    I briefly nodded off, 

    watching an exciting game

    my Hoosiers giving the opponent a scare

    I dreamt of a little baby face

    with rosy ruddy cheeks

    she was my daughter

    and she will always be mine

    Ours

    In our dreams 

 Think: Covenant People

    For thousands of years, people of different identities and beliefs held that they were the Chosen folks, that they were God's elect. This may be true for each, or false for all. Jewish people, or the People of Judah, the ruling tribe of the 12 Tribes of Israel, maintained their particular favored status throughout the Old Testament which still marches on among the millions of Jewish that are on the earth in 2023. They have their own elect status as a people. We also know of the out-sized persecutions that they have suffered. More on that in a bit.

    Later Christianity arose among a huge and successful empire based in Rome, and all types of believers in Christ claimed their inheritance through Jesus the Anointed One. In the 21st century there are more believers in Jesus Christ than any single faith, while the biggest one happens to be headquartered in Rome, Italy. Times change, but some things continue in new iterations. I had graduate professors that had theories of central Europe being the locus of the world, which may have some bite in its truth.

    However, the same professors would admit to the Pax Americana, the current empire that has outdone the Pax Romana of centuries before. The United States holds the top face cards now. More on that in a bit. (Jewish uniqueness, U.S. greatness, now holding.) Life is not all poker and having the best cards, but often times the analogy fits. Which cards of the 52 do we hold? Does having the right cards matter? I would say at least having access to the right cards, the winning cards, matters.

    Islam came seven centuries after Jesus of Nazareth. A Prophet from the Saudi peninsula revolutionized the beliefs and practices of millions, which has its amazingly grand influence today, and it continues to grow as we live deep into 2023. Some would argue it is the nexus of political, military, and social strife in the Middle East and elsewhere. I will leave that up to other debates and times.

    Meanwhile major belief systems, some more ancient and solemn, like Hinduism, Buddhism, paganism, and others, still other worldviews more modern, like secularism, atheism, and newer age sciences and humanistic constructs pass through our minds and books and podcasts and social groups and academic streams... It goes on and proliferates anon, as Shakespeare might say. The Bard would have his observances nowadays, the great critic Harold Bloom would posit. Rest in Peace, thou reader and thinker of Yale.

    All these voices and beliefs and theories hold sway. But, my esteemed religious leaders console and uphold me: doctrine and eternal principles are not ephemeral. They last forever. If so, then covenants come to mind as a major point to made in the miasmas of the modern world and our individual and collective wisdoms. What promises and covenants last forever?

    I would say these: freedom and family, love and charity, benevolence and sacrifice. Can we all agree? Perhaps not the Buddhists, but yet they have so many higher virtues that they aspire to. Can we all agree to agree on the above? Family, freedom, giving, sharing, selflessness, a social compact of care?

    I had a Latter-day Saint Bishop as a young priest, me a second-generation believer of my faith, who would always say "Think covenants and ordinances." He was right. These promises that we make to God, who in return gives us everything as promised, are real and everlasting. If we have faith in His Son, as we Christian Latter-day Saints believe, then all will come to fruition and peace. Our biggest hopes and dreams, both individually and collectively. All realized. All accomplished in this life and the eternities to come.

    How do we know these things? God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ proclaimed them through His ancient and modern prophets. The list is ever growing. We have living ones now.

    Sacrament and temple blessings are real, the scriptures talk and expound on the promised blessing and rights and privileges and the unfolding of things in the last days.

    These are the last days. If you cannot sense it, then please see it from my or our point of view.

    There are Twelve Tribes that we have become, spiritual manifestations collective identities based on ancient and current promises that have been set up for millennia: we are they. If we do not realize or recognize it, please come talk to me or do some reading.

    I did my four years of seminary, I attended Sunday School and read some books and the Church of Jesus Christ magazines, but it was not until I read a great article in the Ensign (now Liahona) during my fulltime mission that I better understood the Tribes of Israel, and how they (we) play our parts in the human family.

    There has been and will always be Chosen, Elect, people of God. Who are they? Who are you? What part do you play? What covenants and ordinances and blessings do you have and enjoy, and attempt to share with others? What visions do you have for yourself and for others in this year and the years ahead?

    Do they involve Ephraim and Manasseh, or Judah or others? What are you missing? What am I missing? Are we missing anything?

    What do the Bible and the scriptures mean? Do we fully understand them?

    I say, we do not understand them. Yet. There are treasures and wisdom and knowledge to be procured, that our generation, our former generations of parents and grandparents, and our coming generations of armies of Helaman have yet to understand and incorporate into their self-awareness and identities, translating into behavior and actions.

    We have not really come to know who we truly are, and we must. We are all brothers and sisters, yes, but it is bigger and grander than that. We are organized into spiritual units and tribes that must be understood, that has to be contemplated and ingested, and lived, for the peace and prosperity of all.

Ignorance is at our own peril, and that of thousands and millions of others.

    What do we believe? What do I believe? What do you know? What do we know?

    We know a lot more than we act like it, most of the time.

    Live what you believe, do what you know, and share and give all you can.

    Be of the Twelve Tribes, and be select and choice in your thoughts and behavior, and words.

    That is what I got this beautiful Saturday morning.

    Oh, yes: The Israelis and Palestinians kill each other. As do the Russians and Ukrainians. They are not aware of their infinite blessings and true identities. Yet.

    We Americans with so much power and might?

    We have to do much better too. It starts with you, and you must feed your body and spirit.

    The truth is there for us to embrace and live.

    The Abrahamic promises are all there for all of us. Find them and live them.

    And live and die in peace and righteousness. Forever.

    

    

    

    

    

sevgili kızım KISKARDISH

 sevgili kızım KISKARDISH,

Keeping this mostly in English, tamam?

    I was thinking about how much we communicate and write our dear ones while they are away. It can be hard. Having left the family unit for months and months at a time myself, I look back and reflect on how some members of the family it was harder to keep in touch with. This is natural. It is hard to maintain contact with all our loved ones on a daily and even weekly basis. Like cousins, aunts and uncles, and other family, our own siblings and parents, it grows difficult to maintain a steady relationship through emails or phone calls, even in this age of ubiquitous technology and communication.

    The last time I was away significantly (two years ago), I realized that I was coming up short, so I began to write a letter on MS Word documents describing my feelings and thoughts. Trying to reach out. Sometimes I would doubt how effective that was, as sometimes or many times I would get little or no feedback from those letters.

    But, at least I (the writer) should have many of those documents as a permanent record like a journal. Sometimes the main audience that we are communicating with is God and ourselves. And that is okay. Tiyep, tamam, eeyim. Al hamdu illah.

    It is not easy to be consistently strong in communicating in any forum or method, be it personal prayers, phone calls, texts and written letters. There is only so much time, a precious resource that can slip through the funnels of the hourglass.

    Alas, there is so much to conquer! (Alexander the Great wept for there was "nothing" left to conquer...)

    Talking to a person yesterday who may have to take long PCS's (Permanent Change of Station) from his family, I admitted to him that on my times and missions away from the family it could be very hard to connect and communicate with all. With my youngest daughter on my last one, only a couple of years ago, she would do FaceTime with me while running through endless silly filters. She would laugh and play. I would stand by, and sometimes watch, but sometimes read or see some other thing on my phone or laptop. Perhaps I wrote a blog piece or another family letter. She and I communicated in our own ways.

    I think that God can be like that with us. He has the power to listen and communicate with us in His own way, while we might toil or play or dally about.

    None of us mortals are perfect, that is for sure.

    All that to say that we love you and celebrate you, you come up in conversations and thoughts, and you are a part of us and our lives even though we may not express daily or regularly.

    You are love and highly thought of, much how Jesus and Heavenly Father keep tabs on us. Sometimes they are there to lean on, and other times they give us free reign to soar or wallow.

    Their Spirit is always available, and the spirit of the love and union with your family is always so, no matter how many words flow.

    Ana bahubukee katheeran. Dai'mon. Always. Documented in script or not.

    Gunayden and shabbat shalom.

    ----Baban

    

 Arab Views and Sympathies, Empathies

    I recently attended a class at work that posited that empathy is better than sympathy when we are trying to help someone who is struggling to stay whole, to be healthy.

    So, I wish to empathize with the Arabs who are suffering, and have suffered a lot. Not to take anything away from Israeli or other Jews or Christians who have suffered violence and terror from Arab militants.

    The Arab people, of which there are millions upon millions in many countries in multiple continents, have gone through a lot. The millions of Christian and even Jewish Arabs have suffered too. Most are Muslim, and this is part of the main identity of the majority of the Arab people.

    They have gone through more than most in the last 75 years, some would argue.

    This past week has been a dewzy. A doozie.  A very hard week since October 7, 2023. And it will continue to be very tough and gut wrenching. Now more than a thousand killed between the Israelis and the Hamas and Gazan citizens, on both sides within a week.

    I have been observing things for a while. The memories and feelings and impressions go back decades, generations. I lived with some Arabs in the 1990s; I visited the Holy Land, both Muslim and the Jewish holy sites, plus most of the Christian ones. It was reverential and humbling. Serene and sublime, and thought provoking, spiritually thrilling and awe-inspiring.

    History and beliefs are heavy there.

    From a smart Palestinian from Jerusalem, who felt that his people had gone through much injustice, around 1994:

"It is not our fault that Adoplh Hitler in Europe killed the Jews! (They have taken our lands. They were in Europe.)"

    True. The Palestinians did not foment nor promote the hatred of the Jews and eventual extermination of them. This awful Holocaust expedited the regathering of the people of Judah into the Arab lands.

    1948. Arabs of the Holy Land forcibly lost their lands.

    A graduate professor of mine, who happened to be Jewish, claimed in the early 2000s that the Palestinian people were an artificial construct.

    How true is that? Politics and culture create who we are over time.

    I think it is safe to say that Palestine has become a thing, organic or not.

    Each Arab sovereign nation is a thing. 

    But Palestine is not a state yet.

    We have to recognize Israel. But we do not have to accept occupation and severe over-control of their neighbors. They need security. Everyone deserves safety and assurance of life and well being.

    Not just some. All. Of all backgrounds.

    And, there are many other thoughts and phrases that come to mind over the years.

    We all seek to be free and have power to do things.

    This is our dilemma.

    

    

Israel, Palestine, and Me

    I put Israel first, for as a nation and strong state of over 8 million people, they take precedence based on their primacy in the Holy Land and the region, and how the world generally gives them first sympathies and support. That is not to say that many nations, governments, and cultural and religious people of all ilk are in blanket support of the state of Israel, or that many Western nations and their peoples do not have a critical eye of what Israel does or how it behaves.

    But Israel is in vast control of what it is and does. And, it gets a lot of support from many strong and wealthy powerbrokers. Like the United Stats, and most of the Western world.

    Palestine comes second. While millions, if not billions of people sympathize with their plight, and wish to help the Palestinian Arabs become a legitimate state, or have less occupation from their occupier, the Palestinian peoples come in second. And this does not work very well.

    We know this acutely well during and after this first full weekend of October 2023. Too much violence and destruction. 

    Lastly, for this post, there is me. An American who wanted to work for the State Department for many years, with ideas and desires to wage peace in the Middle East, perhaps be an interlocuter between the emotional and often times virulent parties, of which there are many. In the Holy Land and elsewhere, too.

    Back in the early 2000s I repeatedly took and failed the U.S. State Department Foreign Service Exam. A couple of times that I passed the first round, I failed at the second round. So, by the criteria and standards of our government and system, I was not good enough, not qualified to be a speaker, representative, or interlocutor for our government at that level. I failed to find other ways to accomplish these goals. Some said I could enter into these government channels by other means, but I never figured out how. I went on and did other things, but not being a spokesperson for peace.

    I throw up my hands at the violence, at the vaunted enemies over there, and my own peoples and parties here. I surmise that I was not meant to be part of the process, and that the "process" is destined for a lot of misery and woe.

    Did I try enough to make a difference? Have I cared enough? Does anyone in the United States care enough or know enough to make a difference? My U.S. State Department testers and evaluators thought less enough of me to not hire me, and therefore I look at them, and the standards that they upheld, for much of my frustrations in pursuing a course that I thought would lead to peace.

    Anyway, I feel bad for the Israelis and the Palestinians; I wanted to let you and anyone else know that I have cared, more or less deeply, for the situation and the tragedies that have unfolded over there.

    But some hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals are not meant to be. At least not from me, or for the benefit of others regarding my thoughts or hopes or career aspirations.

    I, for one, am very sorry that we all have to go through these phases of hatred and disagreements, spats and rows and military and other violence that seems to have no end in peaceful nor prosperous resolutions.

    Things could have been different, maybe. Or maybe not.

Who Are the BYU Beaters? Who Has Won Against the Y the Most in Football? A-E

Who Are the BYU Beaters? Who Has Won Against the Y the Most in Football? A thru E

    Where to start? Denver? Boise State? What football teams have beaten up on my noble Cougars of Provo the most? Utah? Maybe.

    Let us recount the losses and humble pies.

    Maybe alphabetically, but I have mentioned a few culprits already. Arizona State is high on the foe list too. Oh, those Sun Devils.

    Alabama beat BYU in a one-off in 1998. I watched it from my dad's home in Indiana. I invited an Alabama friend to the game but she was non-plussed. I used to feel bad for how low 'Bama had fallen back then.

    UAB. Ugh. Ugly end to a decent season while I was deployed in Kuwait. Watched most of the loss while flying back to the Middle East from my step-mother's funeral in Indiana. 2021.

    Next, the Sun Devil Cougar killers from 1935 to 2021. We beat those Pac-12 baddies in 2021, along with four other conference foes. But we trail Arizona State all time 8-20. It will take a while to catch up with these guys. Yeesh. But if I live to 100, maybe? Now they are both going to be in the Big 12 together...

    Boise State has our number, 5 to 8. Those punks. Ergh! Coaching and kicking led to some of these disasters, most of which I watched this century. I want Bronco blue blood! We got Zach Wilson! But the Broncos have gotten us too much, admitted.

_________________

I will acknowledge that BYU has some ties in the win/loss column all time with a few teams, notably the Arizona Wildcats (12-12-1. Yes, a tie after 24 other games won or lost!) So, there is some payback towards those schools, granted. But I am focusing on deficits here.

_________________

Boston College. The Eagles! From 1985 to 2006, we trail 1-2. We need to play these guys. Make it happen.

And then there was the Cs...

    Coastal Carolina! The one regular season loss in the Covid year of 2020. Awh, so close. But the Chanticleers brought it, and even so barely won there is respect in that. We trail, 0 to 1.

    The Cs get bad with Colorado programs, some that still exist and some that no longer do. Such as:

    Colorado Buffaloes. Losing 3 to 8. See Mr. Prime Time in the Big 12. Should be interesting. Hopefully the Y can recruit with this dynamo. Seems like a tall task.

    Luckily we beat Colorado College and (4-3) and came away with a tie (1-1-1) with College Mines before those institutions stopped intercollegiate football. But not so good with Denver, which whooped the Cougars up 7 wins to 15 losses, from 1933 to 1960. I guess it was serendipitous the school gave up the team. 

    Again, other Colorado schools like CSU we have many wins against, which is good. (39?). That's a lot. On to the Es.

    East Carolina has us down 1 to 2. I saw the first one, in Greeneville. Bad year for BYU. Then they got us last year as I was driving down the road to Bloomington from the airport in Indy. Bummer. My dad doesn't care too much, I didn't tell him when I got there to his house late. BYU still recovered and got 8 wins. We should not have lost that game, and be trailing in the series. From 2015 to 2022. Three games, and last year was close. It was an awful October, after starting the month before well.

 I will continue with the F schools later... 

F for fail, Florida State!

    

    

    

     

 I Could Root More for the Underdog Brewers, But Beer Stinks.

    It stinks and I have a hard time getting behind a team, a franchise, a club that advertises a product that I do not believe in. Beer and alcohol are pernicious to me. 

    "It only kills the extreme cases", people say. Yeah, breast cancer caused by alcohol consumption is extreme.

    So, maybe another underdog like the Rays or the Rangers. Not the Astros, or the Braves or Dodgers. Jays or Twins? Better the Orioles. 

    Ahh, those Brewski Brewers...

    Beer doesn't kill most people. It just kills a lot of people, too many good folks.

    May the best teams win.