Saturday, June 28, 2025

Charles Maurice Lived and Dreamed

 Charles Maurice Lived and Dreamed

    Born in St. George in New Brunswick in 1903, Charles was a dreamer. What did he think of? What were his dreams? Well, lumber took up most of his days throughout the year. Cutting logs, chopping wood, moving the logs and planks from here to there. But, among his diverse interests, he liked to read some authors a lot, like Victor Hugo, Alexander Dumas, Charles Dickens, and a few others who wrote about India and the Far East. Charles, many people calling him Charlie since his youth, was constantly thinking about and learning about the whole world. And its peoples. The library was his favorite place to find books and magazines about all these things. He would spend time there perusing and check out the articles to bring back to his home. He had a small den and a small library, but the library was the place of his biggest documented treasures.

    Charles was religious and derived a great deal of contentment from his religious life and community.

    Christianity was everywhere in his world, where he lived and worshipped and attended dances and ice cream socials, but he was always fascinated by the beliefs of others... The Jews were the source of the Abrahamic faiths, the Muslims were populated in so many countries. What of the Hindus and the animists across the world? The local Mic Mac Indians had their ways, their spirits and stories. He loved to talk to them when he could.

    He worked the forests and lumber, did some occasional river work and hydration projects, but his mind was not so much invested in the physical labor he rendered. He helped out with different people's cattle, a few hours or days every week. Depending on their needs.

    Charles always wanted to marry; he did when he was 28. His wife died three years later. She could not have kids, anyway: there was no one left behind for him to worry about. Her family moved to the United States, likely the Boston area, before he had met her. Batilda. She came and went. A chapter of love and heartache, but he was okay. He moved on in life into his thirties. He knew life was no longer about her. There were two women that he pined after, as he grew older. 

    But wait a minute: where is New Brunswick? More people know about Nova Scotia that pokes out into the Atlantic than New Brunswick! Forgotten province. Many more know about little Prince Edward Island, and even Newfoundland, which most of us will never go to, perhaps more will go to Greenland...

    We digress. Let's get back to Charles and his loves. The first woman who he fancied was married. She was in a nice family; her husband was the main lawyer for the town, they had nice children, and everyone loved them. He knew it was bad juju to look too closely to a married woman, but sometimes Charles could not help himself. He saw no flaws in her, which he had easily seen in every other woman that he ever knew, including his mother and his aunts and all the women and girls that he observed. They were loud and crass and laughed at the wrong things. They talked about silly things and avoided knowing about deeper and more profound subjects, thing that Charles himself valued. Why would you not want to know about the dozens of tribes and ethnic groups that inhabited the Sahara Desert? Why guff and gossip about the newest pant style coming from New York or Paris? Only one woman he ever knew gave a whit or care about those things which he had valued more: knowledge of the planet and its peoples. And of course she was married.

    Charles was happy that she existed, at least. That she paid any attention to him.

    His deceased wife sometimes pretended to care about exotic or esoteric things that kept his mind alive, but she didn't. That did not mean that he did not love and care for her, but she never got into his dreams like the lawyer's wife.

    Pshaw. God put us here for purposes, only he knows the answers. Right? Surely all of this creation, all the way down to Saint George, New Brunswick makes sense at some level. It must.

    The other woman that Charles admired was loud and crass. She was fun. Funny, entertaining, there was no end to her. Even though he could be tired of her ways, he never was tired of her spirit and spunk. She was not perfect by any means, but so colorful and funny! She was the cleverest person he had ever known. Shrewd, and witty, and she could sing and dance. She didn't mind being embarrassed, or poking and teasing at others. Her critiques of his comments and observations were so bold and overbearing that he would laugh out loud at her harangues; he would find himself chuckling about her words in his quiet hours, or even worshipping in the quiet church downtown, or way out in the forests and the mountains. She always brought an unquenchable joy to his thoughts. 

    She was crazy. But brilliant. She had been married three times. Each former husband was a mystery. Was the first one locked up in the Plains, spoken to by the Mounties and servant keepers of the Metis? Was the second guy feeding the fishes or whales out to sea? Was the third guy off learning the ways of mystical transcendence off in a small village of Honshu, Japan? Quite possibly, all of the above.

    Why would they leave? Did she really marry them? Her stories were hard to discern. Was it all just a joke and a fairy tale to her?

    Charles could never quite figure it out.

    One time when Charles was fifty, he cornered her, and demanded that she confess her status and interest. "No, sir," she replied. "I cannot be pinned down, as God on High wishes me to be free, independent, and open to the greater possibilities."

    Wow. That is something.

    By the end, and in his life, Charles was not all about the women that he loved. He was more. He was a great sibling, friend, cousin, uncle, and real treat to all who met him, both to strangers and to those who knew him the best.

    He died earlier in life, which was an accident, but he was happy and good when it happened. He was crushed by a large trailer of logs. Trying to do his thing, still strong at 62 years old. People laughed and cried at his funeral. He was a sweet, really a good man. He worked hard, only complained when something needed its window dressing, or the opposite.

    Charles believed that God was in charge of the course of human destiny. He thought highly of Jesus, who had left His mark, or marks across the centuries, but he always wondered what Jesus would do in the 20th century. Could he the best doctor, or the savvy lawyer, or a judge, or even a farmer or a lumberjack?

    Would He choose to rule from a throne, or would he go among the people like Florence Nightengale or the any number of great nurses and healers across the expanse of humanity?

    Charlie always wondered, always dreamed, always hoped. His grave said, "Charlies was a dreamer; he welcomed all to his table, he shared with people of all station."

      No one can remember who put that there.

    He left behind a good feeling on all who knew him. His gravestone, too.

   In the 21st century he is all but forgotten; some descendants or further distant family thought of him, and wanted to bring him to the pages of this obscure corner of the internet and to the light of what some might care to think of a person that the pages of history will not cover, but his name came up on a Friday afternoon, and here this Saturday in the later hours of this hot day, think of Charlie who grew, who aged, who left mortality, who did not beget progeny, but left behind a wake of work and exploration. 

    To the man who made it to Boston twice, Halifax innumerable times, and lived and died in Saint George.

    To Mr. Clinch, we almost kind of knew you. But no matter how much we knew him, he was a person of worth that gives us a moment of thought and contemplation.

    We thank you for that.
    

    

Thursday, June 26, 2025

25 Years Since 2000 - Part II 2006 to 2010

 25 Years Since 2000 - Part II 2006 to 2010


    2006. We left the Pacific and came to the Atlantic side. We first lived in Ashburn, Virginia, in a town house. We used up the teacher's retirement of the wife in order to pay for this move. Was that good for the long term? Him. Hindsight some twenty years later... That year we welcomed our third child, while I worked as a substitute teacher, junior college instructor, and temporary worker at various places. We moved into a smaller apartment. Our oldest has memories from this time, as she started kindergarten after a summer at the local pool.

    2007. Army time! It came in and we went our separate ways for a while. You with the kids, I with the battle buddies. We met once again in California at the bay. Sea lions baying, the aquarium awaiting. Kids in tow. We went to the night beach by Sand City for fireworks in July. We visited members of the church, the estero at Dennis the Menace Park, and the docks and wharfs of Cannery Row. We took some road trips, had family come and go. The move from Virginia through Indiana to California was something.

    2008. It was great. Our third, no, our fourth child was born to us in Monterey. We spent the whole year on the central California Coast, and life was decent. Many memories of the town and the surrounding areas. Our oldest did her second-grade year, culminating in...

    2009. We left California and returned to Virginia, with some other states in between. My father was a great help, driving many of our belongings in a truck. We began our lives in the northern Virginia area and the roots were placed. What happened that fall? Did we travel to Indiana for Thanksgiving or Christmas? Likely. My mom was still healthy, and had been back from her second mission.

    Memories. Separate and apart, thanks to the U.S. Army. But we made it through okay. I can recall a few more. Not all great. But good enough.

    2010. We got a second car; I was working as a sub a bit much, but we were in a recession and times were tough. I finally got an okay job. Spanish. Yeah, it can pay. Specific memories or vacations? Hmmm... things start to blend. But it was mostly together! I went to California for a couple weeks of training. I was working hard shifts, but we made it work.

    Vivan los recuerdos de anteayer.
    

Not all June is Gloom!

 Not all June is Gloom!

    No!

    The sun is long in the day, the rains bring comfort and growth.

    Much of the world is at peace. Many people eat and drink with no problems.

    Children are being born, like by brand new great nephew! Wow!

    People love each other, people sacrifice and give to one another.

    Lovers kiss and hug and share in their private moments.

    Missionaries roam the earth and spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    Builders are building, doctors are healing, nurses are nursing, lives are being mended.

    Some people are getting hired and not fired!

    Not all is bad.

    Happy June, and forget those harder times. The sun shineth and God liveth, and He loves us.

    All of us.

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Anniversary of __ and ___, ----fer and --ward 24 June 2025

 Anniversary of __ and ___, ----fer and --ward 24 June 2025

    My love and friend
    I see in you no end.
    Time goes swiftly
    We cannot stop it
    We need not.

    How can I word these feelings?
    I have known you a lifetime
    Our children, ever-growing,
    the love for them...
    They and us knowing.

    Love.

    Surely, ups and downs
    faults and weaknesses
    I admit, I confess
    But in my commitment to you

    There is no waver, no doubt
    To love you is life giving,
    Affirming, life enhancing.
    May I return it back?
    Will you let me?

    Thank you. Thank you, my love, mi vida.
    I am grateful you have shared so much,
    of you, from you, with me.
    And us.

    We are we.
    Separate, apart, together, united.
    You, me, us, with the young ones.
    Family, God, community.

    We have given and shared.
    You have served and cared.
    I am a witness to your love.
    God on high shines up above.
    On you, towards me.

    There is nothing more
    I can ask.
    You delivered, you gave
    I received, I am amazed.

    What can I give to you?
    My heart, my love, my
    blood and sweat, till the end.

    I will not quit, I cannot relent.
    You are my trajectory, my goal,
    To have my life spent.

    I am yours.
    Do as you please.
    Be free and playful.
    Act as you need.

    Be true to yourself, the child within.
    Let me be with you, where we did begin.

    We are here.
    You and me.

    We met in January.
    We wed in June.
    We had babies. June, September, March.

    We worked, we played,
    we loved, we sang.
    Through trials and triumphs.

    We danced, we worshipped
    slept and wake
    Smiled and laughed
    Had family meals and parties.

    Where are we now?
    Together--
        stay by me
    
    Stay with me, I promise-

    All and nothing.

    Only me
        And you.

    Plus God, the angels, 
    all our kindred living and past,
    immediate family and more distant friends-
    -with us

    I pray they smile upon us as we them.

    Eternally loving, you, me, us.

    Joy.


Storms, Trials, and Blessings

 Storms, Trials, and Blessings

    We all know of terribles storms and catastrophes that wreak havoc on humans, animals, infrastructure, and nature. These storms of wind, rain, sometimes fire, are generally large and intense. Tghe local and national and even international news agencies usually do a good job in covering the scope and the damages of these storms. In the last week heavy rains lead to floods surging in American places near San Antonio and in western West Virginia that caused the deaths of dozens of citizens. Some storms and floods can be bigger, even more severe.

    A storm that causes heavy damage, both on the human and natural scale, and if taking even one life, is a hard and difficult thing. Some places and people never quite recover from the worst of the awful storms that ravage them. Hurricanes, tornados, heavy rains and floods, sea and snow emergencies, and as mentioned forest fires and other fire emergencies do their devastations.

    These storms are real and typically mean and awful. Some storms provide some blessing or benefit. I just read from my Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints history that Joseph Smith and a couple hundred other saints were hidden and protected by a large storm in western Missouri, from an alleged mob of three hundred pursuers who wished to likely harm them and thwart their mission, even trying to kill them.

    Storms can often be about life and death. 

    We have internal emotional, psychological, mental, health and physical, social and financial storms in our individual and family lives.

    I have had a few. This year alone. How do we withstand and weather them? Who helps us? Who can save us when we are not enough to deal with the personal storms that we face? God and faith are keys to many of us. But, we count on our close friends to give us more real-world feedback, follow up, love and care.

    Husbands, wives, siblings, parents, close colleagues, other intimate partners and confidants. 

    Storms go on when we keep secrets and when we break confidences with the combinations of our closest friends. Including with God and ourselves. We break trust with another, and we have hard times.

But the good after the storms makes it all okay, right?

Yes!

Publish...

Thursday, June 19, 2025

25 Years Since 2000 - Hits and Misses. Mostly Hits

25 Years Since 2000 - Hits and Misses. Mostly Hits

2000. We met. We talked. We hung out. We kissed at your mom's resort hot tub area at night in the steamy hot desert. Movie moment! We dated, we shared, we met each other's families. I proposed, you accepted. We got married, had a sweet honeymoon, even got bumped on the way back to facilitate another trip to Mexico by the end of the year. We went back and you were pregnant. Not the easiest vacation, as such, but it worked.

2001. We had a baby, as I was finishing my second year of teaching high school. We applied to five graduate schools, and one took me. We went there, with baby in tow. We moved our belongings about 75 miles with a small U-Haul truck. Los Angeles close to the beach was tremendous. The baby waxed strong and grew. We tried to make her bilingual. But Spanish was always a thing between us, if not easily transferred to the kids.

2002. A full year in L.A. We took a couple side trips down to Mexico. Perhaps some car trouble. Some headaches, but mostly good times and memories. Like matching shiny watches at La Bufadora. Near Ensenada.

2003. We finished school, took a trip into the mountains of the Sierra Nevadas. You lit a fire with the cigarette lighter of our Ford Taurus. A campfire in the snow. Always industrious, creative. Like the clothing lines in the hotel bathrooms of Mexico City. We left the big city and returned to San Berdu, but we attended the Spanish branch. Choices enable consequences. Callings came, babies awaited.

2004. Another year at Mom's. The youngest sister returned from Spain. Baby number two arrived! The oldest would go to some local day care, but then the whopper of a calling came. Branch President. Presidente de Rama. Habia bastante gente alla. Asi fue. Jen cared for the two small girls. We helped pay small house bills but we saved a lot toward the future with little rent.

2005. Wow, is this getting long? It is only five years in! But, the hits do keep coming.  We flew down to Chile, and six months later returned, with some adventures in between. Nothing too great or too powerful, but we had some really good experiences. Angol was a sweet place to get to know the people. Vina had some nice earrings, which may have been lost at a recent graduation... 2005 was grand... 


2005. Flights to Chile! 

Twenty-Five Years

 Twenty-Five Years

    Poetry or prose?

    It is hard to decide. Poetry can hit the notes, become songs and music.

    Prose can lull some folks to sleep. But it may be worth undertaking.

    What else to say, from our time together?

    Babies. Amazing. Each time, each one. How can we negate the power and purpose of creating life, and bringing them here, and raising them in our homes? At times I was gone, many times you did the hardest work. You became steeled to do things independently, as if I were not there. Which did happen.

    But in the case of our family, I was somewhere doing some work, in those extended absences, and the funds were made available to continue on. If I was less present while in the home, then I certainly recognize that you were always the rock and the standard. I do not take it for granted.

    You were always the hard worker, the one who sacrificed of time and body for them, for me, for us.

    Amazing, this life nurturer, you gave and gave, and many times were exhausted. You freed up time for me to do other things. Physical exercise is one small thing. You allowed me to wander and roam, doing non-essential things, many times, and played the role of the constant source of accountability and stewardship. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, homework, booking, planning, all the things. Driving. Oh, and of course: handling the paperwork and paying the bills! As you are doing today.

    Did I help enough? Not likely. I helped here and there, but I was not the husband and father that I should have been. I do not blame you for feeling exhausted. Tired. Fed up. For periods money would be tighter, and we had to scrimp and save. You began working, (more, because you normally did odd jobs and work while a full-time mom), and you subsidized the income of the family.

    You made it possible for the children to have their colleges and missions paid for.

    I was there, pushing along. You were the dynamo; I admire and respect you for so much!

    Always kind, always sharing, always in full bore.

    Always beautiful and courageous.

    Accepting of my messes and my neurotic tendencies. Military duties and headaches, and some heartbreaks.

    What else to say, now, my love?

    Wow. I am in your debt. I forever owe you, and perhaps I cannot pay it back? I will try. I want to be able to let you play, let you rest, allow you to explore, enjoy the fruits of our labors.

    I want to enjoy you as you are now 25 years in as this incredible friend of confidence and trust. The most amazing and wondrous person, that I was lucky once and since accepted me, took me in.

    Did I deserve it? Did I deserve you? Maybe not. Do we deserve anything?

    God blesses us, he tries us, as life is about trials. He gave you to me, and I to you.

    Will you accept me? Can you take me in again?

    Can I win or re-win your love?

    I must, I will go about doing what I can. I will work and pray to have you forever, if that is what you can learn to accommodate.

    25 years. I thought of making a list of the virtues, and some vicissitudes, year by year, calendar by calendar. But I believe I spelled it out above. The sum of it all hopefully outweighs the detractors, the debits. If not, I certainly have my work and destiny to do as I can, as I may, as I will.

    And we can be joyful and happy. And in love, as friends and mates.

    I love you! Forever! ("You better!").

    Happy June. Happy 25 years. Is another quarter century in the offing?

    I continue to dream, and hope. I will work for it. I will work to give you what you need and deserve.
    

Sadness and Mourning

 Sadness and Mourning

    We talked a little about these things lately.

    We can feel sad, but not too depressed. That is normal.

    We can mourn for things or people lost. Friendships changed or altered. Jobs or careers that do not turn out as planned. Pains or hurts accrued or that pierce into our souls.

    And what of jealousy and envy? Yes, those strong feelings can be too strong.

    We cannot allow them to enter too much into our hearts and minds.

    All the books and all the plays, the songs of forlorn love, the stories and anecdotes of feelings requited and non, the pathos and drama.

    We know it as we live.

    I can tell you a few tales.

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Hard Times - Writing and Thinking and Feeling

 Hard Times - Writing and Thinking and Feeling

    I could explain a few things about my hard times. It has been harder for a while for me to write, and read, and perhaps do a few other things that I normally would like to do.

    Job searching, change in career plans, health problems, relationship issues. It isn't that bad, though! I have all my fingers, all my toes. I still maintain all my major organs and faculties. I still have my wife and family. Things could be much worse, granted.

    To put my own plight into perspective, there are those around the world who face war, starvation, and all types of serious trials and polemics. I still have some employment, my family is still staying on top of things, financially and socially.

    But, it is safe for me to say that there have been some hard times.

    And writing about these things is healthy, I presume. Whether others pay attention or not, at least I am accounting for a few things during this time period. Recognizing, acknowledging, that life can be a bit bitter and sour, or hard to grapple with. 

    It could be so much worse! 

    Self-doubts creep in, bruises and blows to my ego, my financial plan, my family goals, my personal objectives. 

    Is God at the helm? I have been praying more. I have been reading more scriptures. He is at the helm, he is in charge. Jesus knows and loves me, as he does others, even though many times we as a people have to face very tough struggles and problems.

    Wealthy people dying of cancer! Even the poor. Folks dying of floods in West Virginia and Texas.

    Yes, I and we could have it much worse. But, things have been hard enough for me. And us.

    I will remain grateful for what I still have. To God should go the glory.


Thursday, June 12, 2025

My Second Daughter

 My Second Daughter

    It came up at dinner last night that I "never" talk about this one, that I usually only talk about the first and eldest daughter. Not number two! What? Blog about the second daughter? Give her praises, and elegize how cool and wonderful that she is? If I do not mention her in my blogs that much, as maybe compared to more attentions given to the eldest of my offspring, then is that an issue?

    Well, blogging is a part of my life and discussion, but it is not everything. Other things happen that I never blog about.

    Baseball is everything. Right?

    No, just kidding. That was another complaint that came up last night. Too much blogging and writing about baseball. Sure. But in retrospect I am glad that football and basketball were not mentioned as being overwritten and hyper-talked about.

    Too much baseball, I get it. But too much of the others? Okay, speaking of too much:

    There is too much of a dearth of things written about my second eldest, who is a wonderful person, for sure.

    I suggested that those of us who believe in heavenly mother sometimes theorize that we do not hear a lot of talk a lot about her because she is so sacred, we do not want her name in the mouth of all us filthy, unrighteous, profaning children gallivanting across and through the earth and seas.

    Yeah, that's why.

    So, should I break so many years of blogging tradition and write about her? She merits it, for sure. Where to start?

    She merits it, of course! However, I do not want to share too much, as things should stay private.

    That said, a few thoughts and memories.

    Baseball! 

    I took her older sister and her to a minor league baseball game where we saw the wunderkind Bryce Harper and the Buffalo Wilson Ramos getting rehabilitated for the majors. We had a pleasant time together, us three, but the real party started when the game was ending and my daughters, especially the second, got her groove going in the stands! She was busting a move, so happy and exuberant!

    Great memory. Me, she, and the oldest (okay, she was there, too), were having a good time as dad and daughters.

    She is now 21. She is fluent in a key foreign language, and she loves it. Have I had a special date with her? I did, before she went to college in Idaho.  We walked near the D.C. wharf, we shared some good food, I wore some sandals that kind of hurt me, with severe chaffing, but we still had a good time. We drove by the Georgetown district... I learned a lesson about new sandals with no socks. I believe I wrote a stigmata piece about her! Yes! I have written about her! Related to Jesus, of all people and things.

    It was hard to get time with her the last summer before she went off to college. Then we had her before she went on her church mission. That was fun.

    And now she is back! Yes! She does temple work, she does missionary work, she shares love and cheer wherever she goes.

    And now, this little blurb and memory does not compensate for all the other past blog posts that I did not mention her. I always had her in mind, though! 

    She is great! She is wunderbar! She is all the Turkish words, especially the good ones!

    Yes! Evet!

    Okay, more later.

    

Friday, May 30, 2025

No More Starving Artist

 No More Starving Artist

    I thought I knew so many things
    
    I wanted to share a few

    Before, back then, I had some ideas and hopes

    They did not sprout into fruitful seeds

    My sowing and planting were perhaps laid in wrong rows and furrows


    Perhaps I dropped a few seeds and bulbs in some hopeful way, thinking positively in their futures,

    While these little buds of promising life were actually being tossed into swamps and streams

    Places where the seed had no chance to take purchase and purpose 

    Where there was no realistic way to actually grow the fruit

    Of the germinating plants and flowers


    We can be starving artists.

    Full of sound of fury, like Shakespeare's character quotes, signifying nothing.

    Is it all that bleak?

    No, for most of us, not entirely. We are not that forlorn and stunted.

    At least in the living, breathing world of our shared existence, we move on.

    The art and craft may not bloom, but our organs and cells move on...


    Many, or even most, work and succeed in some fields of profession,

    We work, and make money, and pay bills,

    We date, and most of us marry, and most of us beget offspring


    We love them: our babies, growing into little persons, and then they become adults!

    Our contemporaries.

    The big world of big people in which we find ourselves

    We live in environments of hard workers and successful achievers, and others not so blessed

    Some of us can be less ambitious

    Lazy, or not quite good enough, to be included among the best and brightest


    The wealthiest, or the economically comfortable, many work harder than the rest of us.

    They study hard, they prepare well, they train and accomplish great things

    They become financially stable, or better, and do all the things that successful folks do.


    Some of us can be jealous, or resentful, or worried, because we feel we will be left out. 

    We may be among the poor, if not now into the future. We might have a harder future, as we become more aged,
 
as we see some do as the years gather around us, creating health obstacles and concerns.

    And that is only about money (and health)! What about the other ways that us starving, would-be not quite artists

    Can be sowing frustration, fear, and dread

    Instead of happiness and joy?


    Real concerns, real worries.

    Sour grapes disclaimer: We cannot complain too much: those of us who do not achieve our higher hopes and dreams.

    We are the marginal artists.

    We look and feel without real inputs or outcomes.

    Perhaps we slowly starve, us non-budding artists.

    We must continue to work and create.