Slurs Used by me ...and Against Me
"Slur" is an interesting word: most of us by a certain age understand the meaning or use of these words and how so many are weaponized and slung about, referring to others and ourselves, or what these types, words, or descriptions portend to. A slur usually is a word that is meant to insult, to offend, to easily label and categorize, to degrade another ... Or, slurs as nicknames even can create a sort of solidarity, against or with someone who is typically different than the accuser; it is usually derived by something that the person attacked or referenced by it is associated with, like their race, ethnic persuasion, gender, nationality, religion. Those who use slurs against others probably are assuaging their own self loathing or lack of confidence; people who insult others are probably continually insecure about their own issues. Although, the same slurs can be used to empower or bolster the identity of a person or the group that they belong to. If an Irish man proudly refers to himself as a Mick, then he is owning and potentially kindly joking about who he is.
I have used slurs in the past; many of them I regret employing. I would like to think that I have used them less than most people ... But maybe I have not been any less slur-full. Maybe I am just as bad at emitting slurs towards others, and even towards myself, as anyone else. That would be sad. Perhaps by analyzing slurs and how we approach them we can arrive at better conclusions and better usage, or non-usage, of such offensive and ignorant terms and words.
We recognize popular slurs in the media and our communities, between groups and interactions of individuals and groups all the time. In the year of George Floyd (2020), African-Americans have been under the spot light a lot, along with Black Lives Matter, which brings us to one of the most eponymous and ubiquitous words: the N-word. This term has been used and abused for at least centuries in the English context, and it is, in my opinion, overused and abused in the 21st century still, or perhaps more than ever. Maybe this has been the pejorative ethnic slur word used and exploited for attacks, hatred, marginalization, and the most power mongering in the entire world the last 500 years... Could we make a list of the top 50 hate slurs in the English language? This epithet for Blacks is possibly the worst. It is hard to evaluate for sure.
It is one of many, too many ethnic and racial slurs that exist. And, we should consider, this is only in our common language of English that many of us fashion these verbal describers. English by no means is the only language that has offensive terms for others based on any number of characteristics. There are ethnic slurs for Italians, Jews, Irish, Mexicans, Germans, Chinese, Japanese, native Americans, and on and on. There are religious slurs, gender slurs, sexual slurs, body type slurs, disease and sickness slurs, mental capacity slurs, physical impairment/natural born disability and genetic slurs, hair color or hair texture slurs, other different physical attribute slurs, slurs upon slurs. Some verbal slurs can be earned or garnered by the habits or actions of a person or group. Some seem justified, like maybe "lazy" or "lush", but many times these adjective epithets can be accompanied with another slur, be it ethnic or racial. This is bad, this is wrong. Have we heard "drunken Indian" or "lazy Sicilian" or "fanatical Kraut", or even an alleged compliment with "hard working Chinese"? Tropes become offensive when slung as stereotypes and judgmental labeling and pigeon holing.
When combining the descriptor of behavior with the ethnic or physical slur, it gets more personal. How about "cat lady"? Is this sexist or showing prejudice towards women, i.e. misogynistic because we don't typically say "cat man", accompanied with the implication that a "cat lady" is not quite right in the head, i.e. crazy?
It is interesting in life when one identifies with a cause or movement and then painfully receives or is the brunt of an epithet or slur, feeling that sting or cudgel for the first time. I will share an example of this regarding a young lady from Indianapolis, and then I will share my own. One is racial, and the other religious.
Most people correctly argue that race is usually different than religion in that it is an identity that one cannot choose, although there are billions of people around the world that have not chosen their religion and are more or less physically, socially, and economically ascribed to that faith. People also argue that many persons do not actively or deliberately choose their sexual attraction or identity, that it is genetically or biologically imbued and that it cannot be controlled or opted for, like someone committed in the faith and beliefs that they belong to. True, faith is more of a free will choice, yet much of the world is still pegged to the faith of their people, be they Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, or even Chinese Communist, if one can call that a religious or belief-system identity.
Racial Insult and Identity --The N word
Back in 2014-2015 when racial inequalities and deaths of black men (Black males) and boys were making headlines and causing some protests, riots, and looting in the United States in places like Ferguson, Missouri, Baltimore, Maryland, and other major cities, race was an issue that provoked people in the subsequent months to call more attention to disparities and police-related deaths against people of color, like former NFL quarterback Kolin Kaepernick, who manifested his awareness by kneeling during the national anthem at the football games that he played in. Many people thought his method of protest was inappropriate; no matter the method of his demonstration, it was controversial to many sides, for and against the movement that would be known as Black Lives Matter. It generated a lot of attention, dialog, discussion, vitriol, and thinking and re-analyzing about the U.S. justice system and how inherent bias can lead to criminal or even innocent person victimization of people due to race and identity. The words that we use to describe and identify become a part of these problems that we clamor to change.
Our country has had these issues for a long time: those who are killed or imprisoned while under police custody or scrutiny, or the question of sentencing and due process and imprisonment; much of it is considered unfair and unjust due to racial profiling and hatred or wrong practices and policies. Most of the brunt of the accusations are that American law enforcement unduly and wantonly should end the brutalizing and killing of people of color; that inherent unfair biases have to change. Slurs are part of the equation of unfair treatment and biases, painful prejudices that exist way past the years of their appropriateness.
In 2015 a young lady from Indianapolis wrote an article about having a racial epithet (the most used) hurled at her at an outdoor park; for the first time, as a teenager, she claimed that her race, which was black, or Black (some believe the capital letter makes a big difference), was used against her in a way that she realized that racial hatred was a real thing. I think that she explained how she had seen and known racism was real through the media and in books prior to that, but for her in 2012, or whenever it happened, the pain and insult that this caused her woke her up to the reality of 21st century hatred and it was a real thing, and it hurt.
I get that. The overall point of her article was that racism and bias against people of color was not right, it was awful and wrong, and that people, especially Americans of color, suffered unfairly and inhumanly simply because of the color of her skin and the related abuses. This is wrong. It is not fair, it is not right. She is absolutely right to be offended and hurt. Slurs, in the case of African-Africans, are injurious to the soul and the psyche as much as to the the literal body and limb. In our country, apart from American Indians, African-Americans have suffered a lot, which is argued in terms of poverty levels today. They have suffered and been injured physically over the years, even dehumanized; the language of hate associated with this trauma and injustice is awful.
However, there are others who suffer some psychological affronts and and insults through slurs due to their religious backgrounds, their natural born defects, their sexual identities. We have all heard them and we have all considered them. We have used them against others and against ourselves, and some of us try mightily to contain them, to fix them, to eliminate the hatred and the misuse and abuse.
The African-American community and others connected to it (all of us) have had a long, complicated, conflated, confusing, and exasperating relationship with this word, the N word, over the years and the centuries. While some have used it for empowerment and pride, others of all races will use it for hate-filled reasons, discrimination and insult. Still more complicated is the use of the term Negro, and other racial terms accepted and then rendered passe over the years, just in my half century lifetime since 1970: colored, Afro-American, African-American, black, Black...
Black people (at the beginning of the sentence you cannot tell which way I spelled it) and native Americans surely have suffered the most racial injustice and poverty in our country due to racism and prejudice, unfair practices and policies that have proven harmful to them. No question.
Hatred and slurs are not limited to people of race or for the physical external factors of skin and body type (think Asians, Latinos, et cetera). The inner beings of millions are also attacked and denigrated. The following maps out part of that with me.
Religious Insult and Identity -- The M Word
The main epithet and byword, descriptor and adjective/ identifier used for people who were and have been members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, now almost 200 years-old as an institution and as a people, is Mormon.
It is a convenient and distinguishing nickname and identity word for its members, beliefs, unique doctrines, distinctive identity. Since the word is derived from a person that the book of scripture unique to this American continent-based faith is known for, a man named Mormon, who may have been named after a place long before (700 years) called the Waters of Mormon. The Book of Mormon, and its accompanying nomenclature makes them (us) unique; it is easy and flows naturally. It has been used negatively and positively over the years; most of all it is distinct and mostly accurate. There are those that claim to be Mormon that the Church of Jesus Christ has officially dismissed as such. But many still claim the nickname, and others recognize it whether sanctioned by Church leaders or no. As do many scholars and journalists.
I grew up second generation Latter-day Saint, i.e. Mormon, because my parents joined a couple years before my birth. Raised in my college town surrounded by many multi-generational Latter-day Saints, from all parts of the globe, I knew that I was Mormon, which in more politically correct verbiage is deemed Latter-Day Saint, or LDS. Naturally many of those that I knew socially and through worship and our faith communities were from the Inter-Mountain West, particularly but not exclusively Utah. I became integrated enough as a member, a Mormon, in my early and formative life, to the degree that I felt that anything attributed to Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, our current leadership, or to our beliefs and cause meant me. If you accused any fault upon them, I took it personally and you could call me a partisan and an apologist to whatever level I could do that. I was as Mormon/LDS as I was American, or a male, or the third child of my parents. This membership and label was part and parcel to my identity. I believed what I was told and taught; perhaps more importantly I felt it, incorporated it, and strongly identified with what I learned from my faith.
My parents, as anyone multi-generational or as a convert to this or any minority sect, had their flaws and drawbacks as members, as Mormons, as active Latter-day Saints. So did I, a good laundry list of dirty clothes. But it was who I was. Good, bad, or ugly, I was Mormon. And, I did believe it was a beautiful thing overall. This was a plan for redemption and purity, despite all the flaws. This is the heart of Christianity and most faiths. I was a believer of its messages and promises, which are bold and somewhat strict in many senses. The way that things were to be, that I believed made sense.
Comparing the struggles and obstacles of Latter-Day Saints (no M word needed to be used in the current 2020s, as emphasized by our current President and Prophet, Russell M. Nelson) to those of other minorities is not the same, obviously. Being Jewish or Muslim, in most instances, is harder than being Christian or Catholic, or LDS or SDA (Seventh Day Adventist) in much of the United States. But not always. Being black or brown can be harder than being of fairer skin tone, but not always. Every person, and community has their respective row to hoe. The thickets and weeds of one farm or garden may not be the stones and pollution of another, but we all try to harvest crops. All humans struggle to live and thrive where they are. Just because one farm has overwhelming and egregious issues in producing and yielding its fruits, the comparison does not dismiss the fact that another farm does not have its issues, its problems, its own challenges to grow and harvest.
Too much water or flooding, awful chemicals that cause new diseases, terrible industrial or weather or climate-based catastrophes can bring down the crops. Or plain apathy or abandonment, which is a plight that befalls movements and causes like a religious institution or people, or an ethnic identity based on all the factors of culture that we have discussed, to include marriage or celibacy or all practices in between.
In other words, no individual or collective receives a free pass when it comes to being insulted by slurs or invective or insulting epithet, no matter the degree. My story of a thorn in my thumb while pulling a seemingly innocuous weed in a random garden is as valid as the story of the accursed farmer inundated by swarm, pestilence, hate-filled marauder, or by God Himself. No matter the person or the identity, we all can be pierced by words with animus and contempt involved, colorfully embodied as adjectives conveyed as slurs. Also, to be fair in my case, when legitimate complaints are raised about me or "my" people, those insults can sting even deeper.
Hit in the Heart at 21: Slurs Infiltrate our Consciences
Contrasted and compared with the young lady from Indianapolis who had an ugly racial slur hurled at her at age 17, or whatever age she was, based on her color --relatively late in her formative years-- this anecdote of wound from an epithet occurred with me at a more advanced age. They are not the same, her story and mine, not really at all. For her, likely it landed as a cruel cudgel with worse history behind it: racism and bondage, death and poverty, white supremacy and injustice against people of her skin color and cultural group. For me, the example below struck me as a new feeling of psychological questioning and concern. For her, it was an external attack, obviously rooted deep inside her soul based on her ethnic traits and history; for me it was a spiritual question of identity, an internal one that was also based on some of my outward expressions, due to me being an active, believing member of the Church of Jesus Christ.
I came home from my two year mission to Chile with a wealth of experiences, memories, insights, friends, and a humbling realization of life and being a faithful member, a full time representative of my faith, an American, a person, a friend, a language learner, and someone who appreciates others and their gifts. I was a relatively content SUD: Santo del Ultimo Dia. I loved being bilingual, after many years of effort, and learning so much about Latin America was amazing. I felt like our church was doing its share to bring about goodness and progress to Chile and the whole world.
Prior to and during my mission I had heard and read, even studied the accusations: Mormons are a patriarchal dominated society, polygamy was wrong, the priesthood ban on the blacks (Blacks) was wrong, Joseph Smith was a liar and a cheat, Brigham Young was a bully, murderer, modern day Solomon or Genghis Khan (not in the good sense), the Book of Mormon was a fraud, Mormons were not true Christians, we were not a Bible Church, we did not accept Jesus as He was, we had a "different Jesus", Mormons were a cult and had Satanic temple rituals, and many other lame and utterly slanderous and libelous claims. The practice of said religion is another matter altogether.
In my days as a missionary or back home in the States, I had heard all these indictments; they were not usually flung in my face as a real insult against who I was as a person, or what my people (the religious of my system) were, or impugning Latter-day Saints as far as being hard working, community minded, missionary outgoing, patriotic, and well meaning people of sincere conviction. Misguided, sure. Gringo, Yanqui, American, or Norteamericano, capitalist, I had heard pejoratively, but those are part of my nationality; politics gets ugly where people have been tortured and disappeared because of differing ideas of governance, like in Chile and across Latin America. I had also had the religious debates and discussions with many people of differing points of view, from the staunch Catholics of the Vatican, the proud Evangelicals of the countryside, to the sober atheistic communists of the Marxist Manifesto.
I began my college studies in my home town Bloomington, Indiana post mission noticing that a lot of the culture was based on drinking alcohol, i.e. "partying". I had known about that aspect of students in Bloomington since I was younger with my sisters and friends, but now these people were the students that I attended with. They were my cohorts. Plus there were those who were into marijuana, too, but I was not as connected to as many of them, although there were probably a few that were of my own church who were entering into it... There were exceptions, people not imbibing or smoking; I mostly hung out with my church friends who did not drink, like me. A few months home and I became close with a young lady who had grown up a member of the faith, her family devout, but 4 hours from home had opted out of church activity for a while. When I met her during her senior year she was returning to the faith and practice and also was seriously considering going on a mission. A mission is usually an expression of a very active and faithful member, which she wanted to be. And eventually became. But that part is not key to my story.
I will call her Abby. [Real name changed].
In one of her final classes as an I.U. senior to receive her Sociology degree, the topic came up about Mormons who had adopted or fostered many native American children to help them become educated, (mostly from tribes like the Navajo in the American Southwest, perhaps from other famous tribes like Apache or Comanche); many of them were baptized into the faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while living in their assigned Mormon homes. The Church, known as "Mormon" to most of the outside world, the main body and headquarters based in Salt Lake City, and internally to most members as well, and the attempt at "civilizing", "Westernizing", "whitening", "Christianizing", or "Evangelizing" these youth from the impoverished reservations was judged as racist, ethnocentric, culturally oppressive, coercive, manipulative, and wrong. Worse than the harsh tone that the psychology book took against the Mormons of the Inter-Mountain West, which Abby was excited to be a bigger part of, and her new found social group of us Church members in Bloomington, was the feeling or visceral reaction to "Mormons" that was expressed in the class. The word, the "M' word if I may, was used as more an epithet or slur than a simple religious designation.
"How dare they?!" some seemed to say, or worse, "Ooh! How typical of a despicable cult or sect," or whatever these Indiana University cultured and educated college students thought to utter above and under their better than thou breathes. Mostly, it was just the way at least one person said, "Mormons." The nickname and identity was used like a degrading or awful insult. It hurt Abby to hear and feel that; it hurt me too when she related it to me. I cannot recall all that we said or remarked about that class and the reaction from her cohorts. We discussed how being labeled Mormon disrespectfully or with disdain was painful and sensitive to us, especially in an educational context, and that the members of our Western-based faith thought that they were doing God's work, plus providing a charitable act for many youth who were really disadvantaged economically and politically. I had heard about the efforts to help the native American youth, and even knew people who had American Indian foster brothers and sisters, and I, we Latter-day Saints thought of them who fostered, an extension of us, as doing good things rather than negative ones.
Perhaps I need to analyze the feelings of the actual accusation and conclusive negative evidence, and the feelings of being pegged as "bad" by the identity of the label.
1. Abby, I, and a few million others felt that being "Mormon" was a good, even ultimately inspiring and an all-powerful thing for the needed redemption of humanity; or for the ultimate good of all: that God Himself had chosen this way and method for healing ourselves and the world of its ills. We owned the title as Latter-day Saints, Mormon, at the core of our beings. This was how we felt progress was to be achieved above any other standard, beyond country and science and economic plan. Others, many more others beyond our small millions, like a college social science class in 1992 in my hometown, saw the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its members misguided at best, pernicious at worst. I think other faiths and movements can identify with this phenomena, if not Catholics historically, but also Jews and Muslims, and a thousand other religious groups over the last three to four thousand years. See Esther and her faith identity. Maybe it goes back longer before Babylon; see Noah.
2. Yes, Mormons had in fact fostered and at times adopted American Indian youth in the middle 1900s into their mostly white homes, to the tune of thousands of families; many or most of those youth were baptized into the faith, which can be interpreted as unfair or coercive, even racist or ethnically oppressive. The practice stopped after so many years (30?), and was now an item of scrutiny to discuss in academic and social circles of life dialog, which includes politics, social justice, and redress and public policy. History records the good and the bad of all things, in its own ways. The Church and its members believed that they were helping all these children and their greater tribes to have a better life, a better chance at education and prosperity. It may be considered as cultural appropriation in text books, but do people question the intent of good will extended by thousands of Latter-day Saint families, at a very personal level by bringing these non-white children into their homes? Yes, millions would use this practice against the Mormons on into the future, and likely still.
3. We as members of this religious minority, an "American invention" or construct, were used to being accused of being racist against blacks (Blacks, African-Americans) based on the ban on priesthood for black men until 1978 (implemented in the 1850s), and the practice of polygamy until 1890. These tropes of anti-Mormonism came with the territory. However, most devout members like Abby and me felt that racism and unacceptable Western traditional marriage practices were things of the past; the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as our faith is also known to us in our fervent circles, was reached beyond those obstacles of the earlier years of our believed inspired and sacred history of the Fullness of Times. The native American travesty was another stab or blow at the collective ego, but as mentioned, perhaps the tone of voice uttering the label came across as the lowest or harshest slap to Abby, finishing her college studies and preparing for a full time mission as an official representative of it. There were always other condemnations and insinuations: we were not a "Bible Church", not really Christians, the temple and its secrecy was cult-like, that we were historically an anomaly outside of traditional Christendom, that the prophets were misled or worse, deceptive and manipulative, controlling and oppressive.
More lately as worldly, political, religious, scientific, and other stands against the faith, counter to Mormonism, are the statements against the perceived antiquated mores of the doctrines and practices, to include non-traditional marriage, or the goal and dedication to monogamy and sex within legal marriage, focused on temple covenants, the continued requirement of tithing, the maintenance of the prohibition against alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, coffee and tea, embodied in the Word of Wisdom practice.
As reviewing the list of grievances as to those oppose or disagree with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the very word Mormon and Mormonism are now part and parcel of the battle to be defined. Our prophet of today argues that by overusing or misusing the term "Mormon", it is in fact doing a disservice and promoting disrespect to the Lord Jesus Himself, and those of us members who take His name upon us, to whose Church we identify as belonging to Him.
Similar to the "N" word for blacks (with obvious differences), or perhaps more like Black versus black (lowercase), or Negro versus colored, or for the Jewish or Jews, or Muslims or Islamicists, or how to most respectfully address each other and be addressed by others in historical, sociological and social terms, Latter-day Saints get pinched about the M word. It is hard to make ourselves and others realize that the point of our prophet in 2018 and on in referring to members of the faith is that we take away, subtract from the virtue and glory of our Savior Jesus Christ and His Church, and ourselves as covenant members when we do not attribute the true source of it all. Mormon was a great guy, who helped compile ancient records, but ours is the Church of Jesus, not the group or community of Moses or Mohammad or Mormon or Joseph or Brigham.
Similarly, when we take the name of God or Jesus, or any sacred or divine name in vain, we are committing dishonorable and disrespectful utterances. What is in a name? quoth Shakespeare. Everything, as it were. Thus we watch our slurs.
Think about it. Discuss.
To be continued.
