No More Starving Artist

    I thought I knew so many things

    

    I wanted to share a few

    Before, back then, I had some ideas and hopes

    They did not sprout into fruitful seeds

    My sowing and planting were perhaps laid in wrong rows and furrows

    Perhaps I dropped a few seeds and bulbs in some hopeful way, thinking positively in their futures,

    While these little buds of promising life were actually being tossed into swamps and streams

    Places where the seed had no chance to take purchase and purpose 

    Where there was no realistic way to actually grow the fruit

    Of the germinating plants and flowers

    We can be starving artists.

    Full of sound of fury, like Shakespeare's character quotes, signifying nothing.

    Is it all that bleak?

    No, for most of us, not entirely. We are not that forlorn and stunted.

    At least in the living, breathing world of our shared existence, we move on.

    The art and craft may not bloom, but our organs and cells move on...

    Many, or even most, work and succeed in some fields of profession,

    We work, and make money, and pay bills,

    We date, and most of us marry, and most of us beget offspring

    We love them: our babies, growing into little persons, and then they become adults!

    Our contemporaries.

    The big world of big people in which we find ourselves

    We live in environments of hard workers and successful achievers, and others not so blessed

    Some of us can be less ambitious

    Lazy, or not quite good enough, to be included among the best and brightest

    The wealthiest, or the economically comfortable, many work harder than the rest of us.

    They study hard, they prepare well, they train and accomplish great things

    They become financially stable, or better, and do all the things that successful folks do.

    Some of us can be jealous, or resentful, or worried, because we feel we will be left out. 

    We may be among the poor, if not now into the future. We might have a harder future, as we become more aged,

 

as we see some do as the years gather around us, creating health obstacles and concerns.

    And that is only about money (and health)! What about the other ways that us starving, would-be not quite artists

    Can be sowing frustration, fear, and dread

    Instead of happiness and joy?

    Real concerns, real worries.

    Sour grapes disclaimer: We cannot complain too much: those of us who do not achieve our higher hopes and dreams.

    We are the marginal artists.

    We look and feel without real inputs or outcomes.

    Perhaps we slowly starve, us non-budding artists.

    We must continue to work and create.

Hero and Martyr Alyssa Peterson: Not Forgotten on Memorial Day

    I have discussed her with a few family members today. She gave her life as a soldier, defending her values and ultimately likely saving lives of others, because she stood up for their humanity.

    She is a person to be memorialized.

    How many troops do we recall and eulogize through the years?

    Thousands. It takes thousands of sailors, Marines, soldiers, airmen, and others to do the military things that our Presidents and governments want. To protect, liberate, defend. Noble things, but the goals can become fuzzy and then of course, war gets too ugly; there are way too many awful casualties of conflict and hostility.

    We need more peacemakkers.

    Alyssa was one.

    God bless her and those like her. Not forgotten.

 What Did Jesus Ever do For Me?

    I do not think that this is a crude or unfair question. It is worth discussing. If you believe who the prophets say He is, then you can list a great number of things that Jesus has done, for the individual and the collectives. Most of us Christians accept that Jesus not only lived an exemplary and perfect life, but that He gave His life so that we can be saved physically and spiritually, which is about everything that we want as human beings and children of God.

    There are scientific-based atheists who dismiss any type of supernatural nature of Jesus or anyone else, and therefore Christ has had a huge historical and influential impact on the planet in his teachings, in secular viewpoints and understandings, due to the massive followings, and churches and causes dedicated to Him and in Jesus' name, but there is no Godly mystical acts or measures of miraculous faith that have derived from His presence or life, death, or resurrection. Or other amazing feats of healing or supernatural actions.

    There are agnostics in between, that cannot themselves be sure of His Divinity, but may also see that in this figure's name millions of people have gone to war, some were martyred for him, defending Him, or some were tortured or killed or displaced by those who prosecuted in His supposed favor.

    Manifest Destiny and a few other world movements come to mind.

    Some deluded and misled folks persecuted and massacred Jewish folks and others, across the planet, thinking that the universal Jesus somehow approved of their actions. And that is not touching the cultural appropriation that has occurred over the centuries with conversion and transformation of former beliefs to those of Christian values and standards. Some can become very dark and cynical when thinking of the Christian wars and movements waged in this person's name.

    So, all told, there can be a lot of negativity directed towards Jesus Christ Himself, or at least many of His followers and the organizations assembled in His name.

    As the Charles Dickens novel title encapsulates in its extremes of contrasts, it could be said by many that He has been part of the best of times, and/or He has been part of the worst of times.  The best and the worst, all happening in His name. There are ample reasons why people react so strongly to His name, both for positives and negatives. 

    Many people fear Christians today-- those that claim to follow Jesus, because many times they can seem extreme, and hateful, like not allowing a pregnant mother to receive the best healthcare for her present and future body, or those religiously minded who for political or economic reasons choose to seemingly turn their back on the poor and the needy, especially those that come from abroad and do not have legal status, many who claim credible fear and asylum and are refugees under duress.

    That is not to say that there are not millions of loving followers of Jesus, and that many Christian churches, orders, clubs, and movements do not do wonderful works and charities for the poor and needy. But things getting political can get ugly. Some accused George Bush as waging a Judeo-Christian war against Muslims, that religion and faith on our Western values leads to awful or unnecessary wars and hardships.

    The extremist Muslims like Osama Bin Laden are blamed for their egregious holy wars waged against their fellow believers of Islam, the Peoples of the Book, Jews and Christians, and the kufr, the infidels of which the Quran warns and dictates about.

    And lest we forget, Jesus is a big part of the makeup and endgame of Islam. He means a lot to one and half billion Muslims in the world of 2025. They have faith in Jesus of Nazareth.

    So, where do we stand? Is it simple, or complicated, or is a long gamut of all things?

    Yes, probably the latter.

    More later... 

 I Never Wrote of Clemency! We Spoke of it Today, my Wife and I

    Pardon and other good things. Reduced charges.

    There is even a nature reference to it, which is "good weather", more or less.

    More later to do with clemency, which is considered (by AI review) legal, but it definitely has religious implications and connotations.

 Top 25 Things About Marriage

    I am not sure if I can put these top things about marriage in a proper prioritized order. Also, I can only posit my opinions, which may be skewed, biased, and/or plain wrong.

    1. The children that married people, generally a man and woman betrothed, bring into the world benefit from learning and growing with at least two parents, who, while they may be very different in their styles and temperaments in parenting and teaching and molding, because a mom and dad do invariable have their differences, the children can learn and observe and perhaps emulate their favorite, or even by default, the most or least effective parent. In a best-case scenario, both parents would have great qualities that the children would want to emulate and pattern themselves after. Worst-case, neither parent is worthy of following. But there is a double chance of getting things right with two instead of one. Correct?

    2. Married people normally have romantic lives in which they enjoy each other's company. Some people call this the honeymoon period, which may last a week, a month, a year, or for some other arbitrary amount of time, or even decades, according to some mid-range and older couples that most of us have observed. Right? If not, we need to You Tube better old people testimonials. There are tons of happy elderly couples, until one or both of them loses their mind or goes tortuously or tragically pushing up daisies, leaving their partner sadly alone.

    3. The courting (or dating, or chilling, in more modern parlance) leading up to marriage can be pretty spectacular and memorable, mostly for good reasons. Some of the weeding out process can help the courters figure out some preliminary dos and don'ts of behavior and communication, or the time of dating is key to determine whether to simply just move on from the relationship instead of pursuing things further, involving rings, wedding showers and parties, and large life commitments and all sorts of life-changing events and circumstance that are rather hard to undo. However, changes given, there are many a divorce lawyer who has set up their bounteous retirement portfolios based on the undoings, custody battles, and cat fight legal battles of said break-ups and divorces of failed marriages.

    4. Taxes in many places are beneficial to married couples, as opposed to those who are single or shacking up without putting a ring on it. Of course, civil suits and judges, and those blood sucking aforementioned divorce lawyers, do prosper and thrive on the unsettling of would-be matrimonial blisses. I can understand why some couples try avoiding the procurement of a legal marriage document through their local municipal county magistrates and then just tear it up after a few years, many times the wealthier party feeling that he is being cheated, or many times both. And who gets visitation? Suffering succotash! Even Foghorn Leghorn knows money matters in marriage and split families is a big deal.

    5. Photographers make good money from wedding photos.

    6. Wedding planners and music DJs make some decent coin in all these wedding occasions and parties.

    7. Pastry chefs and bakers make money related to weddings. Caterers of all types. My cousin had a wedding and consequent marriage (that only lasted a year) where the broccoli alone coast 400 or 800 dollars. Very lucrative, this industry of parties and receptions. Money to flow and spread the love, so to speak. They make good moolah to celebrate marriage! So do bride and gown shops, and tuxedo and suit establishments.

    8. Is this, this marriage thing, all about the economy and spurring the fiscal coffers of the whole human society? Maybe? I remember learning about the dowry system in high school anthropology. Even in far flung communities in the Middle of the Sahara, or the Calipari, the Gobi, the Atacama, the Great Sandy, or some other forgotten desert region, families benefit from the marriages of their children, socially, but perhaps more crucially, economically. Cha ching, say we pro-marriage folks! Amirite?

    9. Others make money from weddings. And honeymoons. And last but not least, the jewelers, the blood-diamond miners and modern-day slave drivers of Sierra Leone and South Africa! What would our world be if we could not find huge crystal rocks affixed to the dainty digits of brides and grooms, at the mere cost of thousands of dirt-poor grubby hands who are forced to toil and labor for pennies and piasters and barely feed themselves and their impoverished families? The wedding diamond industry is so beautiful! How can we resist this market of modern-day debauchery? But alas, we do not have to see or think about it, so who cares if the extractors suffer to produce them? The end result justifies the means. Yes? Symbols of matrimony are sweet, no matter those that suffer for them.

    10. Anyway, I digress, Marriage in and of itself is for the sacrifice of the better society; some of us are the bigger losers in the process. It can be harder to be the mother, often. Baby birthing, tending, cooking, cleaning. Not as many of us dads do those things. If we can share the burdens, how so much for the better. Then again, if you are the breadwinner electrical line runner father, and you get zapped and scorched and never make it home, being a dad can be difficult, too.

    11. Some married couples are lucky or fortunate when the parents are able to help them out financially. So, this is a way for generations to help out the next ones down the line.

    12. Marriage is romantic and exciting. How many movies, books, plays, and Hallmark and other cards are dedicated to marriage and its heights and pitfalls? Not to mention all sorts of enhancing ointments and jellies. Okay, I know I just grossed out some audiences. Sorry, marriage can get intimately uncomfortable. But those things are nice. like when someone is being poked, prodded, and invaded in a hospital and the victim needs someone to be there to survive. Yowza, too soon.

    13. Okay, is this just an institution set up by patriarchal authorities to suppress and exploit the downtrodden, the weak, those with little or no power, or especially the women? What is up with all the polygamy over the millennia, where one king in Siam or the Mongol Empire or the Utah Territory gets to sire his progeny through dozens and dozens of his baby carriers and concubines? England broke off from the celibate Roman Church because he wanted more sovereignty over his marriage tastes, casting off one woman for another? What of the Hindus who would burn the remaining wife when her already past husband had been led to the pyre? Are the women the ones who lose out the most in this transactional paradigm? My good friend might be right: is marriage all its cracked up to be?

    14. Marriage is quite traditional, as we know. Most societies encourage it. It is an institution that is the basis for the nuclear family; people divide and create their residences on it. The nice quaint home with a chimney and the white picket fence. It may include a grandparent or some crazy aunt, but it centers around the married couple. Each person takes his or her place in the house in accordance with the man and woman of the house. The master bedroom, the master bath, his and hers towels or sinks, even the mugs and plates can reflect the married couple, as well as some closets or garage tools, and vehicles and assorted playthings and guns or pantries or decorations or whatever each party collects and prefers. Perhaps each side has his favorite seat at the dinner table, or seat in the family room, or certainly his or her side of the bed.

    15. Family photos.

    16. Many matrimonies are awesome and fruitful!

    17. If you cannot succeed in your first marriage, and you have been bilged by the self-same predatory family/divorce lawyers of disgusting acclaim, mentioned now ad nauseum, then a second or even third marriage might be the right fix. Marriage may not be the right fit for all, but at least many people do not get just one shot. Second chances can be the elixir. Or third. Not many people get married knowing or planning to divorce, although there are those gold-diggers who plan on early death of their targeted spouse, but marriage is not always the end all, be all. Like a house insurance policy or a lifetime warrantee, the marriage contract can be negotiated to the benefit of all or most of the parties.

    18. Marriage and family traditions. Traditions can be swell. It depends.

    19. Did I mention tax incentives?

    20. Being in the same house with your best friend can be quite joyous. Especially if you do not drive each other bonkers. If it is your spouse, in fact, that is your bestie that cohabitates with you, and as long as that that best friend does not wind up being a French poodle, or the mailman or a trash collector, even better. Marriage partners can be your best friend! What a concept!

    21. Some religions, like that of yours truly, proclaim marriage as the highest holy sacrament that we can achieve, and it carries on for eternity. Whatever that means. Do we hang out with our celestial partner and none other into the eternities, for forever and a day? We have doctrine and precepts that claim that is the case. Meanwhile, if you are another type of Christian, you might count on being alone and non-tangible, perhaps married to God the Father, who is also without parts and passions. Oh, religious thoughts! What to think? Marriage is holy to most, but not as much as for some priests and nuns staying only dedicated in the flesh to the One above. Marriage with the Divine, as it were. Hard to be one flesh with an eternal mate if you do not end up having flesh. 

    22. What else is great or okay about marriage? Constancy or consistency. It can be very tiring and chaotic to go from one relationship to the next. Although some find that practice preferable to be locked and bonded to one ball and chain. Same can be good. Pick your poison.

    23. Being one flesh, as Paul declared, can be pretty soul warming. Sometimes one partner can think of the other as himself or herself. If one hurts, the other does too. If one celebrates in joy, so does the other. Two becoming one is sort of a beautiful concept, in science and physics, and even philosophically. The duality of man (slash woman). The ying yang. A cosmic balance. Cheech and Chong. Simon, AND Garfunkel. Okay, Sonny and Cher, the Captain and Taneal.  Well, Cher moved on to other dudes, but they did make a great hit that many of us apply to marriage and couples. Ask Bill Murray about it in Ground Hog's Day. You got me, babe?

    24. Having rights and privileges to the others' personal affairs. Legal claims and sharing things and estates are allowed, which helps the bonds of togetherness and a family unit be stronger than one person by themselves. We need a custodian, soulmate, or caretaker when one goes down. The buddy system works in swimming or hiking in the Appalachians. Makes sense that a dynamic duo works in normal life.

    25. What more can I say that I have not written and intimated already about the top things about marriage? That I long to hear her triumphs and joys, and share in her heartaches and misgivings, that I hope to talk to her after longer absences, or even in short interludes, or that I love her more now than I ever thought possible, that I cannot imagine a world where I am not linked to her, and could not imagine not sharing in her everyday life or goals, ambitions and interests? That I want to know how she is doing, that I want to make her life better, and only make her cry if it is a good cry, and how I miss her in only anticipating being gone for a day, or a week, or four months, or terribly longer from one another? That I know that she is the better part of me and that I cannot repay her but only tell her that I owe her, and I am willing to pay it back somehow, but like the mercy and kindness of our Father in Heaven, I can never truly compensate for my failings, but I need her love, kindness, and mercy to allow me to be with her always, and I want to be with her always, whatever that means, and that I never want it to end?

    And, since marriage involves a second party, it is not all about me. Of course, the partner has to have her or his purchase and pleasure in the whole enterprise. I had my four criteria in looking for a partner when a young 21-year-old, returned from my mission where I was dedicated to my Lord, and thinking about my future spouse. It entered my thoughts so much, perhaps too much. My last priority and hope for my mate was: yes, she has to like me. No matter what I think and consider of her, she has to be the one that sees me as a fit for companionship. Right?

    Yes, those are some top things about marriage.

Emotional Wheel: My Current or Latest Feelings

    According to this Wheel of Emotions that my wife brought home, I was identifying some negative emotions attached to sub-set words. What were they?

    Sad: guilty - Remorseful, ashamed

    Fear: insecure - Inferior, inadequate

    But on the flip side, the happiness that I feel looks like the following:

    Happy: intimate - playful, sensitive

    I am not sure as to the overall accuracy of this wheel of emotions. For instance, two thirds or more of the emotions are more negative. I am not sure if that is truly representative of who we are as a people, or as individuals.

    I found a different emotion wheel developed by Robert Plutchik in 1980, which has more positive representations of emotions. Perhaps that is more correct?

    I do not know. There are more emotions from the get-go in his, 8 to begin with instead of six.

    Other charts online have more emotions, too, which tend to have more positive feelings than the one that the local high school disseminated.

    Maybe I am being too critical or nitpicky. But then again, I have a few negative emotions going on because of current circumstances, but hopefully we can figure out what is the most accurate or appropriate to our own cases and emotional makeups.

    

 

 Cosmic Battles Part II: My Goals

    I have things, imperatives, missions, goals or objectives to fulfill and accomplish. Can I list them?

    Sure:

    1. Please and worship, follow and obey God. I have my ways, which I think work. But I can improve. Most religious people are striving to live better. We are not finished products. I preach and practice.

    2. Love and serve my wife. I have over 25 years knowing her. I have come up short a few ways, but I am willing to learn and grow and do better. She accepts me even when I fail or do not do things optimally. But like God, she allows me to make mistakes and forgives me many shortcomings. She sees a lot of good in me, which is what we believe God does, too.

    3. Love and provide for my children. There are ways to improve and be better, closer, more connected. And of course, work for their sustenance, education, and health care.

    4. Work. Make money. Gather experience and professional skills. Pay taxes. Pay and donate to tithing and fast offerings.

    5. Do my callings and do ministering with faith. Minister visit to my people. Know them and pray for them.

    6. Be a loyal patriot and a soldier.

    7. Be a good person and research good things, create good things. Write good things.

    8. Obey the law and strive to do what is right.

    9. Pray and study.

    10. Love God and follow the commandments. Keep that loop up.

    That explains a lot of my imperatives. I can de-emphasize some other things.

    Oh, yeah: exercise! Do those things. B-ball. Plank. Table tennis. Maybe some pickle ball or tennis.